Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2437 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,599

Funny Quotes Topics

15,267

Funny Quotes Images

12,599

19 minutes ago

3,464

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Cool times create cool guys.

Just landed via Telegram:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Going viral on Reddit:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Trending via Instagram:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Just shared via Telegram:

Some people’s high horses are actually donkeys.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Live now on Slack:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Going viral on Telegram:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Trending via Pinterest:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

Home » Funny Driving Quotes

105 Funny driving quotes

Funny driving quotes take the wheel when it comes to everyday chaos on the road — from questionable turn signals to epic parking fails! 😂🚗 Whether you’re a speed demon, a backseat driver, or someone who talks to GPS like it’s a person, these quotes remind us that driving isn’t just transportation — it’s comedy in motion. Buckle up for the laughs! 😆🛞🛑

New funny driving quotes 👇

4 days ago
Share →: I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Commentary:
Just trying to keep my nutty squirrel fan club alive! 🐿️🚗💨
1 week ago
Share →: In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Commentary:
Trying to fly a spaceship in Star Wars: piece of cake. Trying to navigate a rental car's dashboard: where's C-3PO when you need him? 🤔🚗✨
1 week ago
Share →: She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Commentary:
Millennial superhero: Defender of the stick shift! 🚗🦸‍♀️✨
1 week ago
Share →: I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Commentary:
Sounds like my car might qualify for a gym membership with all that speeding and stopping! 🚗💨🛑😅
1 week ago
Share →: I drive like I’m immortal.

Commentary:
Driving like you're in a video game, where's the restart button? 🚗💥😄
1 week ago
Share →: I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Commentary:
Oops, my brights turned off but the Cybertruck's spaceship headlights kept me in the spotlight! 🤷‍♂️✨🛸
1 week ago
Share →: Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Commentary:
Because by night, my inner night owl finally gets to party 🎉🦉💫
2 weeks ago
Share →: I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Commentary:
Spinning in circles until I get dizzy or a ticket, whichever comes first! 🚓😂🔄
2 weeks ago
Share →: Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Commentary:
Looks like I've found my new designated barker! 🚗🐶🍻
2 weeks ago
Share →: You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Commentary:
When your car thinks it's auditioning for Fast & Furious, but you're stuck in a red-light sequel! 🚗💨🎬😂

For even more funny driving quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny driving quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2437 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,599

Funny Quotes Topics

15,267

Funny Quotes Images

12,599

19 minutes ago

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

Freshly posted on X:

I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Freshly posted on X:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Seen just now on X:

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

Reported on Slack:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Spotted on Facebook:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Breaking via YouTube:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Spotted on WeChat:

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴