12 Funny goals quotes

• Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

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  3 weeks ago

  aging, cherry, cherry tomato, dream, dream job, fun, gardening, getting, goal, goals, grow, growing, growing plant, humor, job, land, life, life goal, older, plant, success, things, tomato, transition

• When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

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  1 month ago

  adult, bed, bedtime, childhood, early, food, goal, goals, home, humor, junk, junk food, kid, nap, parenting, punishment, realization, realize, snack, stay, stay home, take

• Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

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  1 month ago

  conversation, discussing, favorite, friendship, girl, girl humor, girl talk, goal, goals, humor, interaction, men, minutes, planning, shoe, six, social, social interaction, talk, talking, trip

• All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

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  1 month ago

  bizarre, dark, dark humor, die, German, German word, goals, gruesome, humor, i, life, life goals, live, live well, only, want, well, word

• Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

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  1 month ago

  adulthood, goals, humor, irony, later, life, twenty, want, working

• Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

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  1 month ago

  across, always, aspiration, bus, disappear, goal, goals, humor, i, interview, interviewer, joke, me, meant, professional, professional goal, someone, stare, street, wanted

• Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

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  1 month ago

  almost, effort, give, goals, going, humor, motivation, procrastination, self-deprecation, today

• When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

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  1 month ago

  always, aspirations, business, business goals, childhood, childhood aspirations, dreams, girl, goals, growing, growth, humor, i, irony, little, little girl, needs, outcomes, satisfaction, transformative, transformative outcomes, user, user needs

• My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

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  1 month ago

  back, exercise, fitness, flip, floor, goals, humor, ID, just, looking, motivation, over, simple, struggle, trying, turtle, workout

• I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

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  2 months ago

  every, existential, goals, humor, i, identity, just, life, life goals, middle-aged, nostalgia, person, remember, want, wanted

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