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Funny goals quotes are the perfect way to keep your motivation light and laughter-filled 😂⚽ Whether you’re chasing dreams or just trying to survive Monday, a little humor goes a long way! From hilarious takes on ambition to witty twists on success, these quotes will kick your mindset into high gear with a smile 😄🔥 Ready to score some laughs while crushing those goals? Let’s dive in! 🎯🎉

New funny goals quotes 👇

1 month ago
Share →: Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Commentary:
"Sounds like the meeting agenda I'd actually show up for! 🤣🥿✈️ #MultitaskingMasters"
4 months ago
Share →: All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Commentary:
"Living life to the fullest and planning my grand finale with a touch of German flair! 💀🇩🇪 Who says death can't be dramatic and bizarre? 🎭 #LifeGoals #GermanVocab"
5 months ago
Share →: Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Commentary:
"Your twenties are like playing a game where you spend all your energy collecting Monopoly money only to realize you'd rather be playing Candy Land 🎲🍭 #AdultingFail"
6 months ago
Share →: Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Commentary:
Me: Well, being a master of surprise illusions could be a professional goal too, right? 🎩✨ Who wouldn't want to perform the disappearing act in style, even during job interviews? 😂🚌 #MagicGoals
6 months ago
Share →: Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Commentary:
"Today's motto: Giving it my almost, because let's be real, giving 100% all the time is just exhausting 😅💪 #AlmostThere"
6 months ago
Share →: When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Commentary:
Ah, the childhood dreams of a future entrepreneurial mastermind! 🌟 Who needs fairy tales when you can aim to satisfy user needs and meet business goals for transformative outcomes? 🚀 Dream big, grow up, and conquer the world – one satisfied user at a time! 💁🏻‍♀️👩🏻‍💻 #UserGoals #BusinessDreams
6 months ago
Share →: My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Commentary:
"Trying to get off the floor after a workout be like 🐢💪 Just trying to avoid the struggle and embrace the grace 😅 #TurtleMoves"
6 months ago
Share →: I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Commentary:
Ah, a classic case of mid-life amnesia 🤷‍♂️🤦‍♀️! As we age, the struggle shifts from fulfilling our dreams to trying to recall what those dreams were in the first place. It's like playing a game of memory with our own ambitions 😂!
6 months ago
Share →: I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Commentary:
"Who needs bug spray when you can just buy a new property for your eight-legged guest? 🏡🕷️💸 Talk about luxury living for spiders! #ExtravagantArachnidHost"