Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Twitter is an abusement park.

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.