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228 Funny media quotes

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

1 month ago

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

1 month ago

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

1 month ago

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

1 month ago

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

1 month ago

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

1 month ago

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

1 month ago

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

1 month ago

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

1 month ago

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

1 month ago

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

2 months ago

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

2 months ago

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

2 months ago

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

2 months ago

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

2 months ago

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

2 months ago

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

2 months ago

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

2 months ago

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

2 months ago