Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic. Posted on4 hours ago
Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs. Posted on9 hours ago
We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut. Posted on14 hours ago
Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem. Posted on1 day ago
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer. Posted on1 day ago
Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting. Posted on2 days ago
I hope the world needs to be saved from the apocalypse with video game skills so my teen’s entire life won’t have been a complete waste. Posted on2 days ago
The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores. Posted on2 days ago
Every family needs a delusional daughter who is ambitious about relieving all her family’s struggles solely by winning the lottery one day. Posted on3 days ago
Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST? Posted on3 days ago
Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point. Posted on4 days ago
If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape. Posted on5 days ago