Funny quotes needs

52 Funny needs quotes

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

2 weeks ago

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

4 weeks ago

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

1 month ago

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

1 month ago

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

1 month ago

I need money, not feelings.

1 month ago

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

1 month ago

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

1 month ago

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

2 months ago

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

2 months ago

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

2 months ago

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

2 months ago

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

3 months ago

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

3 months ago

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

3 months ago

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

3 months ago

Who needs a dominatrix when you can be beaten up by an automatically retracting vacuum cleaner cable?

3 months ago

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

3 months ago

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

3 months ago

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

3 months ago