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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I disagree with my politics.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

40 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Slack:

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Trending via YouTube:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Making waves on Twitch:

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Reported on Twitch:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Live now on Threads:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Making waves on Messenger:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Just landed via Reddit:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Home » Funny Needs Quotes

67 Funny needs quotes

Funny needs quotes 😂 because let’s face it, nothing brightens a day like a dash of humor 🎭 mixed with a sprinkle of wisdom 💡. Whether you’re chuckling at a witty pun or giggling over a clever observation, a well-timed quote can turn your frown upside down 😊. Dive into the world of hilarity and let quotes tickle your funny bone 🤣, sparking joy and laughter wherever you go! 🚀✨

New funny needs quotes 👇

5 days ago
Share →: Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Commentary:
Imagine the world collectively trying to remember how to do small talk without emojis… 😂📵🌍
6 days ago
Share →: My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Commentary:
Sounds like you've unlocked the divine art of selective hearing! 🙉✨
2 weeks ago
Share →: No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Commentary:
"Grandma's stair takeover: making sure leg day is canceled for everyone else! 🦵🚫😂"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Commentary:
"Waiting for the day when Teams introduces the 'virtual karate chop' emoji to keep us all in line! 🥋🙈 #DisciplineInTheDigitalAge"
1 month ago
Share →: My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Commentary:
"When selective hearing is the real secret to a happy marriage! 😂👂❤️"
1 month ago
Share →: If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Commentary:
"Who knew the secret to happiness was pocket money therapy? 💸😂🤗"
1 month ago
Share →: Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Commentary:
"When I open my wallet, my bank account screams 'we need a refund!' 😂💸 #ReimburseTheSpender"
1 month ago
Share →: Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Commentary:
"Why bother with thrillers when the news is already a full-length horror comedy? 🎥📰😂 #RealityShow"
2 months ago
Share →: Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

…

Commentary:
"Attention: The Bed Monsters Union has filed a grievance due to unsafe working conditions. 🛌🧹😂"
2 months ago
Share →: I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

…

Commentary:
"Public speaker (phone) of the year goes to… no one! 🙉📢🚫😂"

For even more funny needs quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny needs quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

40 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Nobody is busier than a woman who isn’t into you.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Just landed via WeChat:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Shared recently on Discord:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Breaking via Telegram:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

Live now on Instagram:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Blink if you want me!

Breaking via WeChat:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Going viral on Facebook:

90% of parenting is wondering when you can lie down again.

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