Funny runs quotes

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  2 days ago

  Share →: My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

  Commentary:
  Joining the cult was mandatory, but I got a lifetime supply of purrs and catnip as a perk 😸✨🏡

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  3 days ago

  Share →: Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

  Commentary:
  Who knew my inner boss would be more of a party planner than a drill sergeant? 🥳🛳️

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

  Commentary:
  When you realize your dog has a self-destruct mode 😂💥🐕

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

  Commentary:
  "When life gives you grapefruits, swap them for pancakes! 🥞😂 #GrapefruitGoals #TeamPancakes"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like your cat is just practicing its exorcism skills on the chair! 🐱😈 Who needs an alarm system when you have a feline ghostbuster on patrol? Just make sure to add garlic to your bedtime routine for extra protection! 😂🧄 #CatsOfTheParanormal"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the ultimate test of strength – sitting through a never-ending story without yawning! 💪😴 Who knew endurance could be so challenging! #storytimewoes"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

  Commentary:
  "Three weeks without sweets? More like three hours without treats! 🍬⏳ Who knew time could sprint like Usain Bolt as we age? 🏃‍♂️⏱️ #AgeingFasterThanTime"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like they're really pushing for a 'movement' this week! 🏃‍♂️💩 Just remember, in the battle against diarrhea, it's all about endurance… and plenty of bathroom breaks! 🚽😆 #StayRegular"

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