Funny runs quotes

• Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

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  3 weeks ago

  80s, 80s film, appearance, charming, charming lead, classic, days, discord, Discord mod, film, gathering, group, guy, hair, having, i, lead, long hair, magic, Magic: The Gathering, mod, Navy, runs, scary

• My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

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  2 months ago

  cat, cult, humor, i, just, pay, pet, pet humor, rent, runs, secret, secret cult

• Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

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  2 months ago

  boss, guy, humor, leadership, loose, me, personal, personal responsibility, real, responsibility, runs, self-control, self-discipline, ship, tough

• Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

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  2 months ago

  away, button, dog, explode, explosion, got, hell, humor, i, joke, just, microchip, pet, press, runs, technology

• I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

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  2 months ago

  breakfast, eats, every, fitness, goal, grapefruit, half, happiness, happy, health, humor, i, irony, kind, lifestyle, morning, motivation, person, runs, self-improvement, want

• I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

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  2 months ago

  again, asleep, back, bedroom, cat, chair, crucifix, empty, fall, fear, hate, hisses, holding, humor, i, pet, runs, sleep, superstition

• You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

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  2 months ago

  endurance, humor, know, listening, minutes, never, patience, runs, story, strength, strong, time

• My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

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  2 months ago

  12, age, dieting, faster, hours, humor, over, perspective, proof, runs, sweets, temptation, time, weeks

• Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

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  2 months ago

  awareness, diarrhea, health, humor, joke, runs, Sunday, today, week

• I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

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  5 months ago

  apple, Apple Watch, frustration, humor, i, need, patience, runs, technology, tracking, watch

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