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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,470

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Spotted on Slack:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Just landed via WeChat:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Shared recently on Slack:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Spotted on Slack:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Live now on WeChat:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Making waves on X:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Trending via X:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Going viral on YouTube:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on YouTube this month:

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

38 shares on Discord this month:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

79 shares on Facebook this month:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,664

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Fries, not lies.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Breaking via Telegram:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Just shared via Slack:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Just landed via Facebook:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Trending via YouTube:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Spotted on Twitch:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

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