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Wordgag ツ
10,000+ funny quotes
Funny quotes
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104 Funny start quotes
You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.
3 months ago
Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.
3 months ago
When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.
3 months ago
I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.
3 months ago
Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?
3 months ago
One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.
3 months ago
My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.
3 months ago
Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.
3 months ago
You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.
3 months ago
Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.
3 months ago
Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.
3 months ago
I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.
3 months ago
Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.
3 months ago
If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.
3 months ago
If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.
3 months ago
I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.
3 months ago
Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.
3 months ago
I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.
3 months ago
I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.
3 months ago
Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’
3 months ago
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