Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

104 Funny start quotes

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

3 months ago

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

3 months ago

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

3 months ago

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

3 months ago

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

3 months ago

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

3 months ago

My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.

3 months ago

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

3 months ago

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

3 months ago

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

3 months ago

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

3 months ago

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

3 months ago

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

3 months ago

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

3 months ago

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

3 months ago

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

3 months ago

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

3 months ago

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

3 months ago

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

3 months ago

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

3 months ago