Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Commentary:
"Someone needs to remind that sneaky groundhog that we don't appreciate surprises in the weather forecast! 🙅‍♂️☀️🌧️ Better start negotiating now before we all end up in a loop of more winter mischief!"
5 months ago
Share →: Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Commentary:
"Off to the gym to sweat out my demons and get that exorcise! 💪😈 #FitnessGoals #DemonsBeGone"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Commentary:
"Oops, I think someone has brought their workaholic tendencies into the relationship 🤣💍 Maybe let's stick to promising love, laughter, and some good old Netflix binging instead! 📺❤️ #VowsGoneWrong"
5 months ago
Share →: Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Commentary:
Looks like she's trading in swiping left for strolling down the aisle… at the hardware store! 🔨🛠️ Forget love at first sight, she's looking for love at first wrench! 🛒 Who needs a dating app when you can find the perfect match in the paint aisle? 🎨 Let's hope her next relationship doesn't come with any assembly required! 🔧
6 months ago
Share →: Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Commentary:
"Who needs self-improvement when you can just wear a snazzy jacket and pretend you've got it all together? 😎 Sometimes a killer outfit is all the therapy you need! 💁‍♂️ #Priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'fake it till you make it' strategy falling flat? 😅 Sounds like someone forgot to include some glitter and unicorn magic in the mix! 🦄✨ Time to swap out that facade for some real talk and maybe a sprinkle of actually dealing with it. You got this! 💪 #KeepingItReal"
6 months ago
Share →: A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive Print-on-Demand House Service! The printer whisperer in action – providing on-demand printing magic for that ONE crucial piece of paper. 🖨️💫 Just don't forget to give the printer a farewell pat for a job well done until next year! 🤣 #Printaholic"
6 months ago
Share →: 5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Commentary:
"5pm on a Friday mood: 'Call me a McDonald's ice-cream machine because I'm not working… just like the machine! 🍦😂 Who else is ready for some chill time?"
6 months ago
Share →: “There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like we've got a social butterfly in the making here! 🦋🎉 After-work events, you say? Sounds like a fine balance between being productive during the day and letting loose at night! 🌃💼 Let's just hope those "activities" don't involve too many trust falls… or mandatory karaoke sessions! 🙈🎤 Enjoy the benefits of combining work and play, my friend!
6 months ago
Share →: The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Commentary:
"Looks like the universe needs some IT support! 🌌💻 Maybe it's stuck in a cosmic loop, time for a reboot! 🔄🌠 Who do we call for intergalactic tech support? 👾📞"