I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park. Posted on56 minutes ago
I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park. Posted on7 hours ago
“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there” Posted on11 hours ago
Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes. Posted on14 hours ago
Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo. Posted on2 days ago
Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?” Posted on2 days ago
Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer. Posted on2 days ago
The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa. Posted on2 days ago
One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant. Posted on2 days ago
I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes. Posted on2 days ago
Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks. Posted on2 days ago
My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point. Posted on3 days ago
Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon). Posted on3 days ago
I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti. Posted on3 days ago
It’s important to get out of the house every once in a while to get excited about going home. Posted on3 days ago
If you ever go backpacking in the wilderness, be sure to wear corduroy pants, so you can start a fire if needed. Posted on3 days ago
Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family. Posted on3 days ago
The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business. Posted on4 days ago