Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Going viral on Instagram:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Spotted on Twitch:

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Going viral on Telegram:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

49 Funny avoidance quotes

Funny avoidance quotes are the perfect remedy for those moments when procrastination 🤔 feels like an art form. Whether you’re dodging chores 🧹, sidestepping awkward conversations, or simply daydreaming 🤭, these quotes capture the humor in our everyday evasions. They serve as a cheeky reminder that sometimes, not taking life too seriously is the best strategy! So, take a break, have a giggle, and embrace the hilarity of life’s little detours 🚧.

New funny avoidance quotes 👇

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

11 hours ago

avoid, avoid work, avoidance, going, humor, only, procrastination, relief, stress, stress relief, work, work avoidance, work stress
I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

14 hours ago

avoid, avoidance, camera, club, depends, humor, i, life, nightlife
“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

15 hours ago

avoidance, cancel, coming, commitment, even, excuse, excuse phrase, flake, humor, never, no show, phrase, sarcasm, show
Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

16 hours ago

avoidance, dealing, Elsa, feelings, freeze, frozen, humor, i, kingdom, level, respect
Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

18 hours ago

advice, again, avoidance, ever, health, humor, just, mental, mental health, procrastination, thinking, tried
Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

1 day ago

avoidance, cancel, excuse, honesty, humor, i, just, plans, procrastination, social, social plans, sorry, want
I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

1 day ago

active, avoidance, humor, mindset, peace, procrastination, relaxation, self-care, through
Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

3 weeks ago

answer, avoidance, call, communication, humor, i, interaction, joke, jokes, know, number, people, phone, social, social interaction, unknown, unknown number
That masculine urge to completely avoid relationships until you get your life together.

2 months ago

avoid, avoidance, dating, growth, humor, life, masculine, masculine urge, personal, personal growth, relationship, relationships, together, urge
Resting bitch face saves me from so many conversations I don’t want to be part of.

2 months ago

avoidance, bitch, conversation, conversations, expression, face, facial, facial expression, humor, i, interaction, introvert, me, resting, resting bitch face, sarcasm, social, social interaction, want

For even more funny avoidance quotes, hit next 👇

All funny avoidance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on X this month:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

66 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Explaining myself is too much work, just judge me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I like that linguists chose the term ‘loan words,’ implying that one day we’ll get them back.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,593

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I need a vaccine against overthinking.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Just landed via Twitch:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Live now on Pinterest:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Trending via Messenger:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Shared recently on WeChat:

“You’re a cardiologist? Is that like a fancy name for an auto mechanic?”

Spotted on WeChat:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

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