77 Funny care quotes

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs roses when you can have nuggets? Because nothing says 'I love you' like a crispy, golden token of affection. Forget the flowers, let those nuggets do the talking – and trust me, they speak the language of deliciousness!"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

  Commentary:
  🌿🚰💦 "Asserting your dominance over the plant kingdom, one waterboarding session at a time! Just make sure your houseplants don't stage a rebellion. They might just leaf you for good! 😉🌱 #PlantParentingStruggles"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, wouldn't that be the dream? 💁‍♂️ 'I don't care, gotta go water my houseplants 🌿' 🚶‍♂️ It'd spice up those dull conversations for sure! 😂 #SociallyAwkwardGoals"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

  Commentary:
  Absolutely! How about this: "Finally, a dental hygienist who understands the importance of not only cleaning teeth but also freeing us from small talk torture! 🤐💰"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’d pretend to care about football for you.

  Commentary:
  "Sure, I'd totally watch football with you… for the snacks 🍟 and the occasional 'touchdown' dance 💃🏈 Who am I kidding, let's just order pizza and call it a day! 🍕😄"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

  Commentary:
  "Well, if you can't even keep up with your own life on Earth, trying to manage one on another planet sounds like a mission impossible! 🌎👽 #StrugglesOfEarthlings"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

  Commentary:
  "Good news! Your secret is as safe with me as a chocolate bar in a room full of toddlers 🍫🤷‍♂️ Don't worry, I have zero interest in your scandalous tales!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, dirty hair, clean heart! 💁‍♀️✨ Embrace the messy bun and let your inner fabulousness shine through, regardless of what those unruly thoughts may say! 🌟 #BadHairDayConfidence"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were someone who mattered to me! 🤷‍♂️💅 #SorryNotSorry"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

  Commentary:
  🐱📱 "Introducing the purr-fect app for all the cat sitters out there – Litterboxd! Finally, a platform where professionals can rate their furry clients based on claw-some behavior and meow-nificent cuddle sessions. Who knew a litterbox could be so full of digital possibilities? 😸💩 #CatLoversUnite"

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