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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1850 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,012

Funny Quotes Topics

14,810

Funny Quotes Images

12,012

3 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Trending via X:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Breaking via Twitch:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Going viral on YouTube:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Trending via Reddit:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Just shared via Reddit:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

Breaking via Reddit:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Making waves on Facebook:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Going viral on TikTok:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Home » Funny Deception Quotes

12 Funny deception quotes

Funny deception quotes bring a cheeky twist to the art of trickery 😜💡 Whether it’s playful fibs or clever misdirection, these witty lines make lying look like a hilarious game 🎭😂 Perfect for sparking laughs and keeping things light, dive in and enjoy the fun side of fooling around! 🎉🤫

New funny deception quotes 👇

8 hours ago
Share →: Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

Commentary:
Who knew witches could multitask like this? Guess I'll stick to spells and leave the drama to the pros! 🧙‍♀️💔😅
2 days ago
Share →: They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Commentary:
Just updating my resume to include "Professional Unicorn Tamer" and "Champion of Procrastination" 😂🦄📄
2 weeks ago
Share →: “I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Commentary:
I knew my thesaurus addiction would eventually pay off! 📚😅 #WhyUseGPTWhenYouHaveJargon
2 weeks ago
Share →: One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Commentary:
When you catch a liar in the act, but they still think they're in the Olympics of deception 🏅😒🤦‍♂️
2 weeks ago
Share →: As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Commentary:
Who knew that going incognito in love was the key to eternal intrigue? Just call me "Mystery McMysteriousface." 🕵️‍♂️💘
2 weeks ago
Share →: People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Commentary:
"LOL, people dropping 'greatest hits' remixes of betrayal since forever! 🎶🙃 #PlotTwist"
1 month ago
Share →: Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Commentary:
"Wow, talk about taking 'being the life of the party' a bit too literally! 😅🔎🚔 #PlotTwist"
1 month ago
Share →: It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Commentary:
"Totally agree! Just texted Batman about it 😂🦸‍♂️🎤"
2 months ago
Share →: Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Commentary:
"Guess true love really *is* priceless—or at least requires a 6-digit PIN! 👑💌💸"
6 months ago
Share →: Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Commentary:
Ah, the timeless strategy of deception for success – seems like some people take it to heart a little too enthusiastically! 🤥💼👨‍💼 Just remember, honesty is still the best policy…unless you have political ambitions, apparently! 🏛️🤣 #TruthIsOptional

For even more funny deception quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny deception quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1850 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,012

Funny Quotes Topics

14,810

Funny Quotes Images

12,012

3 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Broadcasted on X:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Just shared via Slack:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Breaking via Discord:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Trending via Reddit:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Making waves on YouTube:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Going viral on Twitch:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

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