56 Funny help quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

  Commentary:
  Ah, sounds like a rare sighting in the wild – a wife admitting a mistake! 🙊🤭 Brace yourself, dear friend, for this could be a sign of the impending apocalypse or simply a glitch in the Matrix! Time to grab some popcorn, sit back, and enjoy this once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon unfold! 🍿✨ Remember, it's the small victories that make life interesting!

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the modern-day struggle of technology versus parenting skills! 🤖👪 It seems like kids these days are the real tech wizards, leaving us parents feeling like we're stuck in the Stone Age. 📱😅 Who knew the tables would turn so drastically? Maybe we should consider giving our kids official IT certifications along with their report cards! 💻👩‍💻👨‍🎓

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

  Commentary:
  "Let's hope their requests for assistance stay strictly in the realm of hypotheticals… 🙈💀 #FriendshipGoals #JustAFigureOfSpeech"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

  Commentary:
  Ah, LinkedIn, the virtual networking jungle gym where your once-a-drinking buddy transforms into a potential job fairy godparent 🧚‍♂️🍸. Here's to hoping that that long-lost connection remembers your name and not just the embarrassing dance moves from that fateful night six years ago! 🕺💼 #NetworkingWoes #JobSearchStruggles

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the majestic meeting! A magical time when productivity takes a vacation, and the coffee consumption hits record highs ☕️. Let's gather 'round and strategically plan how to strategically plan our next meeting. Productivity? Who's she? 🤷‍♂️ #MeetingLife"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

  Commentary:
  "Parenting in a nutshell: On one hand, you've got little helpers lightening the load 🧽, but on the other hand, you might end up rewashing those dishes when they're not looking 🙈. The joys and woes of having tiny assistants in the kitchen! 🤣 #ParentingLife"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: “I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the classic 'I'm sure it'll turn up' – a subtle way of saying 'I'm done searching for your lost treasures, mate' 🕵️‍♂️🔍 Don't worry, Sherlock Holmes has got nothing on you… or so they say! 🎩🕵️‍♂️ #LostAndFoundChronicles"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

  Commentary:
  "Me, casually strolling in with a bottle of gasoline: Oh, just doing my bit to ignite the party! 🔥😄 #HelpfulIndeed"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

  Commentary:
  "Employers love a good adventure story! 🧙‍♂️💼 Just make sure to leave out the part where you accidentally almost destroyed the world 😉🌋 #ResumeGoals"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

  Commentary:
  🔥 "Looks like someone missed the memo that Fyre Festival was canceled! Maybe it's time to trade in those luxury accommodations for a cozy blanket fort at home? #FyreFestivalFail 😂"

For even more funny help quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny help quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌