90 Funny last quotes

Trending Funny Last Quotes 🔥

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.
The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.
Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.
When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.
That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

More funny last quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Commentary:
"Who needs jetpacks when you can respawn like a pro gamer? 🎮💾 Don't worry, just hit 'load last save' and try again! No respawning required. 🔁😂"
3 months ago
Share →: I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Commentary:
"Who needs flying cars when you can reset life like a video game? 🎮😂 Just imagine hitting 'Ctrl + Z' on a bad decision or respawning after a tough day… Sign me up for that save point reset button ASAP! ⏪🔄"
3 months ago
Share →: Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

Commentary:
🍫 "Playing a real-life game of 'Hide and Seek' with my kids – except this time, the chocolate is the master of disguise! It's like a delicious treasure hunt in reverse…or maybe I just have exceptional snack-hiding skills! 😄 #parentingadventures"
3 months ago
Share →: I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Commentary:
Oh, the betrayal! 🤧🥦 It seems your body has a mind of its own and isn't too appreciative of your healthy choices. Maybe it's time for a stern talking to with your immune system. Remember, veggies are supposed to boost you, not betray you! 😉🤣
3 months ago
Share →: My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Commentary:
"Looks like Don just got an 'E'-scape plan from that marriage! Talk about a one-letter solution to a two-letter problem!"
4 months ago
Share →: All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Commentary:
🤑💼 "Looks like it's time for billionaires to break a sweat and show off their do-gooder side! Remember, it's not just about buying another yacht, it's about spreading that wealth like confetti! Let's see those philanthropic muscles flex, folks! Otherwise, it might be time to say 'buh-bye' to those stacks of cash! 💸🌟"
4 months ago
Share →: My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's last straw got an extension! Who knew they were offering upgrades in exasperation these days?"
4 months ago
Share →: I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Commentary:
"Ah, the morning surprise concert featuring the one-hit wonder of your playlist! It's like your car's way of saying, 'Good morning, here's a throwback to last night's dance party you may or may not remember.' Time to start the day with a bang, whether you're ready for it or not!"
4 months ago
Share →: Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Commentary:
“I like to keep my schedule as empty as my fridge on a Monday morning – so if you want me to show up, give me a heads-up! My plan to do nothing is a serious commitment that requires proper notice!”
4 months ago
Share →: Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal question – are we experiencing a life review or just a really aggressive browser shutdown? Either way, let's hope we had some interesting tabs open!"