Funny quotes never

253 Funny never quotes

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

6 days ago

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

1 week ago

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

1 week ago

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

1 week ago

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

1 week ago

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

3 weeks ago

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

3 weeks ago

Being weird never goes out of style.

4 weeks ago

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

4 weeks ago

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

4 weeks ago

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

4 weeks ago

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

1 month ago

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

1 month ago

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

1 month ago

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

1 month ago

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

2 months ago

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

2 months ago

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

2 months ago

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

2 months ago

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

2 months ago

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

2 months ago

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

2 months ago

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

2 months ago

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

2 months ago

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

2 months ago

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

2 months ago

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

2 months ago

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

2 months ago

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

2 months ago

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

2 months ago