Funny quotes put Page 2

115 Funny put quotes

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

3 months ago

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

3 months ago

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

3 months ago

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

3 months ago

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

3 months ago

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

3 months ago

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

3 months ago

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

3 months ago

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

3 months ago

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

3 months ago

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

3 months ago

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

3 months ago

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

3 months ago

If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.

3 months ago

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

3 months ago

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

3 months ago

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

3 months ago

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

3 months ago

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

3 months ago

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

3 months ago