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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1839 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,001

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

12,001

Updated

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Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that Coke is in the fridge.

Spotted on Twitch:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Shared recently on Instagram:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Trending via WeChat:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Just shared via WeChat:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Breaking via Slack:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Spotted on Facebook:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Spotted on Reddit:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Home » Funny Reality Quotes » Page 2

121 Funny reality quotes

More funny reality quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Commentary:
"Enjoy the oxygen while it lasts! Reality's cardio game is strong! 🏃‍♂️💨🤣"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.

Commentary:
"Finally embraced my inner unicorn on 'imaginary time,' but I couldn't make the meeting… or did I? 🦄⏰✨"
2 weeks ago
Share →: None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Commentary:
"When your phone’s more dramatic than an Oscar-winning movie! 🍿📱😂"
3 weeks ago
Share →: The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Commentary:
"Forget the grass, just pass me that filter! 🌿😎📸"
4 weeks ago
Share →: If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Commentary:
"Looks like every rose ceremony comes with its own stethoscope! 🌹😉 #MedicalDeviceSalesGoals"
4 weeks ago
Share →: “Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Commentary:
"Watching 'Real Housewives' is the closest I’ll ever get to a successful acting career! 🎬😂 #NoOscarsNeeded"
4 weeks ago
Share →: In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Commentary:
"Meanwhile, in this universe, I'm just mastering the art of sarcasm! 😂🚀 #ParallelProblems"
1 month ago
Share →: I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Commentary:
"Here's to caffeine being my daily dose of reality armor! ☕💪😂"
1 month ago
Share →: Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Commentary:
"Who knew the Founding Fathers were just ahead of their time in creating 'America's Next Top Drama'! 🎬🇺🇸🤣"
2 months ago
Share →: I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

…

Commentary:
"Adulthood: where you pay bills to prove you exist! 📝💸 #AdultingChronicles"

For even more funny reality quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Don’t give up on your dreams. If cauliflower can be pizza and zucchini can be noodles, you too can be anything you want.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Live now on TikTok:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Breaking via WeChat:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Reported on Reddit:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Shared recently on Threads:

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

Just landed via Threads:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Just shared via Reddit:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Reported on LinkedIn:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

121 Funny reality quotes

More funny reality quotes 👇

For even more funny reality quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny reality quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Wondering when these skinny jeans are gonna kick in.

I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

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