79 Funny watch quotes

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  5 days ago

  View →: If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.
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  1 week ago

  View →: Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?
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  1 month ago

  View →: I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.
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  1 month ago

  View →: Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.
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  1 month ago

  View →: If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).
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  3 months ago

  View →: TikTok? I still call it a watch.
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  3 months ago

  View →: How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”
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  3 months ago

  View →: My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’
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  3 months ago

  View →: Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?
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  4 months ago

  View →: No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.
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  4 months ago

  View →: It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.
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  4 months ago

  View →: have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”
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  4 months ago

  View →: The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

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