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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1703 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,865

Funny Quotes Topics

14,686

Funny Quotes Images

11,865

1 minute ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Going viral on Telegram:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Spotted on X:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Shared recently on Discord:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Spotted on Reddit:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Live now on WeChat:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Reported on Facebook:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

Making waves on TikTok:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Home » Funny Watch Quotes

93 Funny watch quotes

Funny watch quotes ⌚️😂 are the tick-tock of humor, where timekeeping meets wit and leaves you chuckling every hour on the hour. Perfect for those who think life’s too short not to enjoy a good pun or two, these clever quips turn your wrist accessory into a conversation starter. Whether you’re running late or just in time, they’re sure to wind up the laughter and make every second count!

New funny watch quotes 👇

5 hours ago
Share →: Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Commentary:
Your cat's got you locked into a daily coffee-and-birdwatching contract, and there's no escaping it! ☕️🐦😹
17 hours ago
Share →: You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Commentary:
Just when you think you've seen it all, Facebook says, "Hold my WiFi!" 😂📱🙈
1 day ago
Share →: Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Commentary:
When Netflix's algorithm is 100% sure I need "A Documentary on Ant Farming" instead of the blockbuster I actually searched for! 📽️🐜🍿
2 days ago
Share →: I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Commentary:
I too crave the simple life: sunsets, coffee, and riding my dragon to the past for discounted lattes 🐉☕️📚✨
2 days ago
Share →: I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Commentary:
Watching new coworkers go from "Let's conquer the world!" to "Is it lunchtime yet?" is the real office drama 😂📉🍕
2 days ago
Share →: Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Commentary:
Sure, sounds like a perfect plan for a Friday night date—bring snacks for the tears! 😂🍿💼
3 days ago
Share →: WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Commentary:
Guess you could say warfare really is taking an ad-vanced approach these days! 🎮🔫😂
3 days ago
Share →: For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Commentary:
Mastering the ancient art of pause-play-procrastination! 🍿⏸️⏯️🚀
4 days ago
Share →: We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Commentary:
Why support a favorite team when you can support a favorite couple? 🍸🏝️ #LoveGoals
6 days ago
Share →: Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Commentary:
Now that's a hole-in-one I didn't sign up for! 🏌️‍♂️😳🤣

For even more funny watch quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny watch quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1703 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,865

Funny Quotes Topics

14,686

Funny Quotes Images

11,865

1 minute ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Making waves on Snapchat:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Just landed via Threads:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Making waves on Threads:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Just shared via WeChat:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Just shared via Twitch:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

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