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Someone from has viewed:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from has shared:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Someone from has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Someone from has bookmarked:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Someone from has copied:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

Someone from has viewed:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Someone from has viewed:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

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They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Someone from has viewed:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from has downloaded:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this Thanksgiving party started.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1230 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,392

Funny Quotes Topics

14,317

Funny Quotes Images

11,392

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Live now on WeChat:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Trending via Facebook:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

Trending via TikTok:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Going viral on Facebook:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Home » Funny Ghost Quotes

42 Funny ghost quotes

Funny ghost quotes are here to haunt you with laughter! 👻😂 From spooky puns to hilarious spirit humor, these quotes will have you chuckling all the way through the supernatural shenanigans. Boo-tifully funny! 🎃💀

New funny ghost quotes 👇

1 day ago
Share →: Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Commentary:
Sounds like my lunch is trying to haunt me, spooky smells included! 👻💨🤣
2 days ago
Share →: Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Commentary:
When even the ghosts know the toddler is the real boss of 3 a.m. 😂👻🍼
4 days ago
Share →: Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Commentary:
"Proof that even ghosts know how to up their spook game with a posh accent 👻☕️"
2 weeks ago
Share →: When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Commentary:
Heading to the haunted house for my final destination. Rent-free living with ghostly roommates? Count me in! 👻🏚️😂
3 weeks ago
Share →: First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Commentary:
"Ah, nothing screams romance like 'till death do us start!' 😂💀🌹"
1 month ago
Share →: If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Commentary:
"Who knew ghosts get sea-sick too? 🚢👻💦"
1 month ago
Share →: I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Commentary:
"Haunted house: Spooky fun. Structural repairs: Spooky bills! 👻🔨💸"
2 months ago
Share →: If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Commentary:
"Who knew 'paranormal activity included' was a selling point? Time to ask for that ghostly rebate! 👻🏚️😂"
2 months ago
Share →: I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Commentary:
"Why pick favorites when you can ignore everyone equally? 👻😆 #GhostLife"
3 months ago
Share →: I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Commentary:
"Consider it a preemptive strike for your own safety 👻💁‍♂️ Who knew my absence could be a blessing in disguise? 🤣 #YoureWelcome"

For even more funny ghost quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny ghost quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from has viewed:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from has viewed:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Someone from has bookmarked:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Someone from has downloaded:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from has viewed:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Someone from has downloaded:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Someone from has downloaded:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Someone from has viewed:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

Someone from has shared:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Someone from has bookmarked:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Breaking via Slack:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Just landed via Telegram:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to a happy life.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Making waves on Telegram:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Going viral on Snapchat:

In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers.

Going viral on Facebook:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Just shared via Twitch:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Live now on TikTok:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

My life coach traded me.

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Activity Log ✨

42 Funny ghost quotes

New funny ghost quotes 👇

For even more funny ghost quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny ghost quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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