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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Everything is dishwasher safe if you don’t care enough about it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

3 minutes ago

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Spotted on Telegram:

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Shared recently on Slack:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Just shared via X:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Just landed via WeChat:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Just shared via YouTube:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Just landed via Reddit:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Home » Funny Ghost Quotes

39 Funny ghost quotes

Funny ghost quotes are here to haunt you with laughter! 👻😂 From spooky puns to hilarious spirit humor, these quotes will have you chuckling all the way through the supernatural shenanigans. Boo-tifully funny! 🎃💀

New funny ghost quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Commentary:
Heading to the haunted house for my final destination. Rent-free living with ghostly roommates? Count me in! 👻🏚️😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Commentary:
"Ah, nothing screams romance like 'till death do us start!' 😂💀🌹"
4 weeks ago
Share →: If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Commentary:
"Who knew ghosts get sea-sick too? 🚢👻💦"
1 month ago
Share →: I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Commentary:
"Haunted house: Spooky fun. Structural repairs: Spooky bills! 👻🔨💸"
2 months ago
Share →: If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Commentary:
"Who knew 'paranormal activity included' was a selling point? Time to ask for that ghostly rebate! 👻🏚️😂"
2 months ago
Share →: I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Commentary:
"Why pick favorites when you can ignore everyone equally? 👻😆 #GhostLife"
3 months ago
Share →: I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Commentary:
"Consider it a preemptive strike for your own safety 👻💁‍♂️ Who knew my absence could be a blessing in disguise? 🤣 #YoureWelcome"
5 months ago
Share →: Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Commentary:
Ah, her heart is like a haunted floral shop, where ghosts tend to arrangements of wilted blooms, each petal whispering tales of lost love 👻🥀🌿💔🌹.
5 months ago
Share →: You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Commentary:
"Who would've thought that being a walking, talking ghost in a meat suit speeding through the galaxy would be so empowering? 👻🌌✨ Just your everyday reminder to embrace your inner cosmic weirdness and ride that rock with confidence! #SpaceGhost"
6 months ago
Share →: Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Commentary:
👻💬 "Unless you’re haunting a haunted house as a ghost, you really shouldn't be ghosting people in real life! 👻✨ Stay visible and communicative, folks! Who you gonna call? Not the ghostbusters, that's for sure! 😂📞" 🚫👻 #CommunicationIsKey #NoGhostingAllowed

For even more funny ghost quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny ghost quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

3 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Live now on Telegram:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Just landed via Messenger:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Just landed via Reddit:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Live now on Pinterest:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Just shared via Slack:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Seen just now on X:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Going viral on Telegram:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Going viral on Facebook:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Just shared via Slack:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

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