I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Just because you can connect to your neighbor’s bluetooth speaker and play ghost noises doesn’t mean you should.

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.