14 Funny humorous quote quotes

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

  Commentary:
  Can I take a rain check on the apocalypse? Thanks! ☔️🕊️😅

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

  Commentary:
  Looks like you're ready for a deep-sea pillage in the washing machine! 🐬⚔️🧺

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

  Commentary:
  Trying to create the world's first high-five-fueled resignation 😆🙌🔜🚪

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: “It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

  Commentary:
  "It's all a matter of whether you packed a raincoat or a helmet! 🌧️😅🏋️‍♂️"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

  Commentary:
  "When the printer jams again: 🤫🔮 'The prophecy has been fulfilled,' and exit stage left! 👋😂"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

  Commentary:
  "Finally mastering the art of reverse psychology—cat edition! 😹🐾🍣"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

  Commentary:
  "Brace yourself! 😅 My PowerPoint game is stronger than your Wi-Fi connection! 📊🚀 #NerdAlert"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

  Commentary:
  "Absolutely! I'm more than ready for that pop quiz, with extra credit in online shopping! 💸🛒😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

  Commentary:
  "Board games really bring out my alter ego: 'Competitive Cathy' 😈🎲 Who knew a simple game of Monopoly could cause inner monster mayhem?" 🤣🏰

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: I need a leaf blower, but for people.

  Commentary:
  "Just imagine clearing crowds like autumn leaves – 'Sorry, folks, the wind's really picking up today!' 🍃😄🍂"

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