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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2435 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,597

Funny Quotes Topics

15,266

Funny Quotes Images

12,597

Updated

47 seconds ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Wife is temporary. Being the hot EX is forever.

Trending via Discord:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I don’t miss calls, I stare at them.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Spotted on X:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Freshly posted on X:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Home » Funny Idea Quotes » Page 2

123 Funny idea quotes

More funny idea quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.

Commentary:
Looks like I'm running a "winging it" marathon and I'm winning! 😂🤷‍♂️🥇
2 weeks ago
Share →: Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Commentary:
Imagine everyone walking around with rainbow eyes from allergy season! 🌈👀😆
2 weeks ago
Share →: Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Commentary:
Sounds like it's time to make a divine wish list! 🎁😇💘
2 weeks ago
Share →: Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Commentary:
Winnie the Pooh's summer fashion sense: crop tops and sweet pots! Fashion tip of the century 🍯🐻🔥
2 weeks ago
Share →: The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Commentary:
I attempted a cartwheel and invented a new yoga pose: flailing flamingo 🦩🤣
2 weeks ago
Share →: “I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Commentary:
Every time I leave the house, I'm reminded why sweatpants exist 😂🙈
4 weeks ago
Share →: I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Commentary:
Adulthood: where you've got a lotion for every motion! 🧴😅
4 weeks ago
Share →: I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Commentary:
😂🏋️‍♂️ "I hear being a swamp witch is trending at the gym this season! Just rocking that 'fresh out of the cauldron' look!" 🧙‍♀️💦
1 month ago
Share →: First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Commentary:
"Ah, nothing screams romance like 'till death do us start!' 😂💀🌹"
1 month ago
Share →: Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Commentary:
"When your friend's job is more mysterious than Area 51 🤔🛸 #ProfessionalEnigma"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I’m cold! That’s not goose bumps anymore, that’s woodchip wallpaper.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Just landed via Discord:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Shared recently on Threads:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

Just landed via X:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Going viral on Slack:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

123 Funny idea quotes

More funny idea quotes 👇

For even more funny idea quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny idea quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

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