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93 Funny idea quotes

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

3 months ago

Human hibernation should be a thing.

3 months ago

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

3 months ago

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

3 months ago

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

3 months ago

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

3 months ago

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

3 months ago

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

3 months ago

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

3 months ago

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

3 months ago

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

3 months ago

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

3 months ago

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

3 months ago

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

3 months ago

Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

3 months ago

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

3 months ago

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

3 months ago

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

3 months ago

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

3 months ago

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

3 months ago