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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Just landed via Messenger:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Just landed via WeChat:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Seen just now on Facebook:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Trending via Threads:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Shared recently on Discord:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

Going viral on Twitch:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Seen just now on Discord:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

29 Funny life advice quotes

Funny life advice quotes bring a burst of laughter 😂 and wisdom 💡 to your day! They remind us not to take life too seriously while offering clever twists on everyday challenges. Whether you need a quick mood booster or a lighthearted perspective, these gems are perfect for sharing with friends 🤪 and brightening up your feed. Get ready to chuckle and reflect—all at once! 🎉✨

New funny life advice quotes 👇

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

11 hours ago

academic, academic validation, advice, getting, hobby, humor, i, life, life advice, love, recommend, recommendation, romantic, romantic love, validation
Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

2 months ago

advice, humor, life, life advice, motivation, nothing, procrastination, timeline, want
Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

2 months ago

advice, biologically, biology, connect, connection, daily, eat, else, enjoy, enjoyment, everything, food, fun, good, human, human connection, humans, humor, laid, life, life advice, literally, motivation, reminder, yourself
By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

2 months ago

30, addiction, advice, age, age 30, guessing, home, humor, life, life advice, lifestyle, routine, second, settled, should, work, works
I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

2 months ago

9, advice, before, career, casual, casual dating, dating, going, humor, i, life, life advice, long-term, long-term relationship, recommend, relationship, relationships, sleep
I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

2 months ago

account, advice, bank, financial, financial humor, humor, i, joke, life, life advice, life motto, living, money, motto, need, short, spending, stop, words
Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

2 months ago

adults, advice, emotionally, emotionally unstable, good, great, health, humor, life, life advice, media, mental, mental health, satire, social, social media, Twitter, unstable
It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

2 months ago

advice, bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, early, early start, humor, life, life advice, making, never, procrastination, start, too
I need money, not feelings.

2 months ago

advice, feeling, financial, financial needs, humor, life, life advice, money, need, needs, priorities, sarcasm
A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

2 months ago

advice, attraction, bargain, caution, good, humor, life, life advice, rule, surgery, sushi

For even more funny life advice quotes, hit next 👇

All funny life advice quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

20 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

67 shares on Discord this month:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

43 shares on Discord this month:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how it’s often easier to access academic resources illegally, even when you have university library access.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,456

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Going viral on Discord:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Just landed via Messenger:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Spotted on Telegram:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Trending via WeChat:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Going viral on Discord:

I let people skate. I never mention the ice is thin.

Going viral on X:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

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