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19 Funny life advice quotes

  • I need money, not feelings.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs to be showered with affection when you can be showered with dollar bills? Money talks, feelings whisper… quietly in the corner.”

  • A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

    Commentary:
    “Remember, when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, it’s best to splurge a little – after all, you don’t want to end up with a face like a discount knockoff or a stomach ache that’s ‘fishy’ at best!”

  • Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic dilemma of push and pull! It’s like trying to navigate your way through a door marked ‘Pull’ when you’re pushing with all your might 🤦‍♂️. But hey, at least now you have the key to unlocking life’s mysteries – just remember to use the right word at the right time! 🚪🔑 #WordPlay #PushAndPull”

  • Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the wise words of a toddler… 🧒💭 Yes, you can do whatever you want all the time, as long as you’re cool with facing the consequences like bedtime, chores, and a potentially messy room! 😂🙌 #ToddlerWisdom”

  • There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

    Commentary:
    “Don’t wait for the stars to align, embrace the chaos and make some mistakes! 🌟✨ Who knows, you might just stumble upon a happy accident! 🤷‍♂️💡 #EmbraceTheOops”

  • Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

    Commentary:
    “Feeling like the world is crumbling around you? Well, don’t worry because guess what? You’re right! 🌎💥 So take a deep breath, embrace the chaos, and maybe grab some popcorn because it’s gonna be one heck of a show! 🍿😄 #EmbracetheCraziness”

  • Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

    Commentary:
    “Feeling optimistic? 🌟 Don’t worry, life has a surplus of surprises lined up just for you! 🎁 Remember, disappointment is just another way of life saying ‘plot twist’! 🔄 Keep marching on, your next letdown could be just around the corner! 🚶‍♂️💔”

  • My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

    Commentary:
    “Waiting for karma like 🙏, but keeping kickboxing on standby for those extra challenging moments like 💪🥊. Who knew life advice could come with a side of self-defense? 😄”

  • I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the perfect blend of wisdom and chaos 🚂💥 Who needs a life coach when you can just hang out with these ‘train wreck experts’ for some entertaining life lessons? 🤪🤷‍♂️”

  • Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

    Commentary:
    “Don’t procrastinate expressing yourself! 🕰️ Let your loved ones know how you feel before it’s too late, or your final gesture might lack the impact you were going for! 🖕😂 #CommunicateNowOrForeverHoldYourPeace”

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