Funny quotes
»
news
Funny news quotes
May 9
Share →
: Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.
Nov 3
Share →
: If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?
Sep 28
Share →
: Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.
Sep 22
Share →
: If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.
Sep 22
Share →
: The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.
Sep 22
Share →
: Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.
