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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Home Β» Funny News Quotes

54 Funny news quotes

Funny news quotes are your ticket to a lighter look at the headlines that shape our world! πŸ“°πŸ˜‚ Whether poking fun at the latest breaking stories or adding a humorous twist to everyday events, these quotes will have you chuckling as you catch up on the news. Dive into the lighter side of journalism with these funny news quotes and let the laughter begin! πŸ˜„πŸ“£

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Posted on2 days ago2 days ago

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

Posted on2 days ago2 days ago

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Posted on5 days ago5 days ago

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

Posted on3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Posted on3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

Posted on1 month ago1 month ago

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Posted on1 month ago1 month ago

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Breaking News: No matter how close you are with your colleagues, never discuss your personal matters at work. Neverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

So we have actual fact checkers who know all the facts? Why not create a TV channel where they just give us the facts? We could call it the News.

Posted on2 months ago2 months ago

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Posted on3 months ago3 months ago

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Posted on4 months ago4 months ago

β€œI saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Posted on4 months ago4 months ago

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Posted on4 months ago4 months ago

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Posted on5 months ago5 months ago

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Posted on5 months ago5 months ago

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