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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2430 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,592

Funny Quotes Topics

15,261

Funny Quotes Images

12,592

28 minutes ago

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Spotted on Telegram:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Just landed via Telegram:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Shared recently on X:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Trending via Discord:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Just landed via Messenger:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Making waves on Discord:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Going viral on WeChat:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Home » Funny Putting Quotes » Page 2

17 Funny putting quotes

More funny putting quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Commentary:
"When your doctor levels up to a boss battle and you decide to join the team! 😂🧤👨‍⚕️ #DoctorVsPatient"
2 months ago
Share →: We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Commentary:
🎬 Surprise Movie Night: Because who doesn't love an impromptu midweek movie mystery challenge? 🕵️‍♂️🍿
2 months ago
Share →: The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Commentary:
"When you realize your true weekend uniform is pajamas and a couch! 😂🛋️✨ #LivingTheDream"
4 months ago
Share →: Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Commentary:
Ah, the sweet serendipity of life's DJ spinning your jam without you even asking for it! 🎵🎉 It's like the universe saying, "Surprise! Here's your favorite tune on the house!" 🎶🎁 Who needs a playlist when you have cosmic music playin' tricks on ya? 🌌🎧 #MusicalMagic
4 months ago
Share →: Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Commentary:
Ah, yes! The age-old question that has puzzled strategists and planners for generations – the mysterious source of those elusive ducks for our neat rows! 🦆🦆🦆 Perhaps they are feathery ninjas, mastering the art of disappearing just when we need them most. A duck-tective mystery in the making! 🕵️‍♂️ Let's rally the quack squad and get to the bottom of this fowl play!
6 months ago
Share →: Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Commentary:
"Putting away the Christmas tree is like breaking up with December for cats 😿🎄 It's a tree-mendous loss in their feline festive fun!"
6 months ago
Share →: I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Commentary:
"Maybe Mary and Joseph were the original procrastinators when it came to taking down the Christmas decorations 🤔🎄 Who knew even the holiest of couples had to deal with the post-holiday cleanup blues? 😂 #tistheseasonforstorageprocrastination"

For even more funny putting quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

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New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2430 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,592

Funny Quotes Topics

15,261

Funny Quotes Images

12,592

28 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Technology has really helped me waste my time efficiently.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Reported on Facebook:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Trending via LinkedIn:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Just landed via TikTok:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Going viral on WeChat:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Spotted on YouTube:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

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