54 Funny search quotes

• God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

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  2 hours ago

  career, destiny, faith, God, gods, humor, job, job search, LinkedIn, me, media, plan, search, social, social media

• In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

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  11 hours ago

  button, dating, humor, i, love, me, morning, much, relationship, search, self-love, sleep, snooze, snooze button, someone

• Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

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  16 hours ago

  disappointment, entertainment, finish, help, humor, looking, movie, name, Netflix, search, spelling, streaming, tell

• Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

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  17 hours ago

  asking, awkward, awkward question, communication, conversation, dating, embarrassment, going, hear, humor, hunt, i, job, job hunt, job search, lot, promise, question, search, success

• I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

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  21 hours ago

  bar, before, crash, disappointed, disappointment, even, Google, humor, i, instruction, instructions, listen, name, results, sarcasm, search, under, weight

• I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

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  23 hours ago

  compliment, dating, deleted, Google, humor, i, love, met, online, online search, over, relationship, search

• Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

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  2 weeks ago

  before, both, burger, cautious, Chinese, Chinese burger, food, food search, Googling, humor, looking, looking over shoulder, over, search, shoulder, shoulders

• No open job postings for “Warrior Poet” found in your area. Please try another search.

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  3 weeks ago

  another, area, career, error, error message, found, humor, job, job posting, job search, message, open, please, poet, posting, search, try, warrior, warrior poet

• When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

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  1 month ago

  common, death, definition, die, disappointed, disappointment, history, humor, i, just, language, misunderstanding, search, search history, sure, through, using, word, words

• When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

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  2 months ago

  advice, ask, help, helpful, humor, i, last, losing, memory, put, question, questions, search, someone, something, where

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