57 Funny small quotes

• (Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

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  1 month ago

  awkward, cheat, conversation, couple, ever, guys, making, relationship, small, small talk, talk

• Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

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  1 month ago

  car, construction, cornfield, deer, driving, forgot, front, humor, jump, just, life, lot, Midwest, people, quirks, regional, regional quirks, road, road construction, rural, rural life, sick, small, small town, thinking, town, weather

• Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

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  1 month ago

  bowl, craving, cream, dessert, emptiness, empty, food, humor, ice, ice cream, licking, sadness, small, staring, too

• Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

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  1 month ago

  documentary, here, humor, i, irony, me, murder, person, shows, small, small town, things, town, watch

• I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

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  1 month ago

  amount, better, humor, i, lot, me, plutonium, sarcasm, small, small amount, think, treat

• A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

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  1 month ago

  aging, asking, conversation, getting, getting older, half, having, humor, interaction, just, lessons, life, life lessons, much, older, person, plus, repeat, small, small talk, social, social interaction, spent, talk

• If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

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  1 month ago

  energy, enough, house, humor, irony, nuclear, nuclear reactor, power, reactor, small, submarine, technology

• Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

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  1 month ago

  bedtime, cell, cell phone, distraction, every, hours, humor, i, night, phone, procrastination, ritual, six, small

• At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

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  1 month ago

  anxiety, awkward, awkward moment, conversation, humor, i, introvert, just, moment, myself, self-checkout, shopping, shut, small, small talk, social, social anxiety, talk, wish

• The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

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  1 month ago

  amazing, correct, details, do it, even, haters, humor, i, irony, right, self-deprecation, small

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