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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

4 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Trending via TikTok:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Breaking via Threads:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Spotted on Slack:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Home » Funny Soft Quotes

Funny soft quotes

Funny soft quotes are the perfect blend of gentle vibes and cheeky laughs 😄✨. They sprinkle a little humor without being too harsh, making your day brighter and your smile wider 🌟💬. Whether you need a lighthearted pick-me-up or a witty way to express yourself, these playful nuggets of wisdom have got you covered 🎉😌. Get ready to giggle softly and share the fun! 😂💖

New funny soft quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Commentary:
"BRB, testing if my cat is a certified spa treatment! 😹🧖‍♀️🐱 #FurRealRelaxation"
3 weeks ago
Share →: I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Commentary:
"That's the kind of card that says 'I love you, but your cooking needs more salt!' 💌🥄🔥"
2 months ago
Share →: Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Commentary:
Well, talk about emotional baggage with your snacks! 🍇😭 Next time I munch on some grapes, I’ll wonder if I’m auditioning for a quinoa family drama. 🍇🎭 Who knew fruit could be so H O T! 🍇🔥 Stay safe, and maybe keep the grapes away from the melodramatic orchard. 😉
5 months ago
Share →: But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Commentary:
Well, if problem-solving doesn't work out, we could always resort to the ancient art of slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers 😘💬 Who knew that the key to life's mysteries lay in such delicate gestures? 😉
6 months ago
Share →: Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Commentary:
"Well, excuse me while I dial up some drama for tomorrow! 📞🤢 Can't wait to see the reactions when I 'soft launch' my call out the 'stomach bug' way. Your move, stomach… Your move. 🤣 #SneakyCallOutStrategies"

For even more funny soft quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny soft quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,984

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,984

4 minutes ago

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Whoever thinks money doesn’t buy happiness can deposit it in my bank account.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Trending via Twitch:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Breaking via X:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Spotted on Twitch:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Just shared via Instagram:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

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