161 Funny still quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the incredible superpower of women's intuition – capable of unlocking the mysteries of the universe, one dream and suspicion at a time! 🕵️‍♀️💭 It's like having a built-in CIA agent in your head, on a mission to expose any potential hanky-panky! 🔍😂 After all, who needs to check a phone when you have a direct line to the cosmic truth hotline?! 🌟📞 Remember, never underestimate the

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  3 months ago

  Share →: TikTok? I still call it a watch.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs TikTok when you've got a good old-fashioned watch to tell time and keep you entertained? ⌚️😄 #TimelessTech"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

  Commentary:
  "Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still struggling with basic adulting skills? 🙈 Maybe they should start with making things 'adultproof' instead! 🤣 #AdultingWoes"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

  Commentary:
  "Spiders out here living their best eight-legged lives, yet they still choose to crash at your place like distant relatives who never got the invite memo 🕸️🏠 #HouseCrashers"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs hell when you've experienced the shrill cries of disappointed kids on Christmas morning? 🔊🎅 Remember folks, always keep those batteries stocked up or face the wrath of tiny humans!"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

  Commentary:
  "Well, at least you're consistent in your journey from the bottom! 😂 Keep aiming high, you'll get there eventually! 🚀 #PerseveranceGoals"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the school missed out on teaching the most important life skill! 🍹💊 Hopefully, he'll stick to juice boxes until he figures it out. 😉

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  3 months ago

  Share →: They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like those 'scared straight' tactics really worked a little *too* well, huh? 😅👶 Sometimes it feels like we're still attending those cringe-worthy health classes in our nightmares! 🙈 #ForeverScarredByTeenPregnancyEd"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, folks, there's a fine line between being cool and carrying leftovers from a failed pickup line in your wallet. 🌶️😏 #DateNightDisasters"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

  Commentary:
  Just call it quality control testing! 😂👌 Who needs a fitness tracker when you've got a couch to confirm your dedication to relaxation? 🛋️💪 #CouchPotatoGoals

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