63 Funny told quotes

• 

  6 days ago

  Share →: So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

  Commentary:
  When life gives you telemarketers, give them a taste of their own menu! 🤣☎️ Press 1 for a good laugh!

• 

  6 days ago

  Share →: No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

  Commentary:
  I thought growing up meant more freedom, not unlocking life like a 6-digit puzzle! 🔓🤔#AdultEscapeRoom

• 

  7 days ago

  Share →: Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

  Commentary:
  When your entire world falls apart because the dishes need rescuing from the dishwasher 😂🍽️🙄

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

  Commentary:
  When your wallet's on a diet but your mom isn't! 🍽️😅🍕

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

  Commentary:
  When the bedtime becomes the highlight of your day, you know youre winning at adulthood! 😴😆 #LivingTheDream

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

  Commentary:
  "Guess my skills have a permanent follow status! 😎🚫😂 #Winning"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

  Commentary:
  "Seems like your boss really rocks! Just hope he doesn't leave you between a rock and a hard place 😅🪨🌘"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

  Commentary:
  "At least my GPS and I have one thing in common—we're both lost! 🚗🔄🤔 #LifeRecalculating"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

  Commentary:
  "Guess I'll pack my feelings and carry-on! 🧳😂 #EmotionalBaggage"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like we've come full circle in the 'Who's the Tech-Savvy Now?' game! 😂🔄👵📱"

For even more funny told quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny told quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌