95 Funny told quotes

• Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

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  11 hours ago

  again, belief, disappointment, humor, i, irony, mistake, regret, told, trust

• Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

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  11 hours ago

  communication, days, definitely, humor, life, married, married life, me, misunderstanding, never, only, partner, relationship, repetition, row, same, say, sentence, telling, told

• I remember when my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? And I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.

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  12 hours ago

  asked, boss, conversation, employee, everyone, hire, hiring, humor, i, insult, joke, knows, me, people, remember, stupid, stupidity, told, work

• Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

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  15 hours ago

  belly, funny response, humor, hunger, hungry, i, interview, job, job interview, lady, lunch, missed, response, success, today, told

• You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

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  17 hours ago

  bold, brilliant, confidence, empowerment, feminine, feminine hygiene, humor, hygiene, i, me, period, stop, tampon, tampon wrapper, told, wrapper

• Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

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  18 hours ago

  communication, deaf, family, girlfriend, humor, loud, misunderstanding, mum, need, needs, relationship, slow, speak, special, special need, told

• Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

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  24 hours ago

  amelia, Amelia Earhart, costume, earhart, everyone, funny story, going, Halloween, i, joke, never, no show, party, show, story, told, top, year

• Not a gold digger, but the other night a woman told me her grandpa owns a Christmas tree farm. That shit had me rubbing my hands like a fly.

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  1 day ago

  Christmas, Christmas tree farm, digger, farm, flirting, fly, gold, gold digger, grandpa, hand, hand rubbing, hands, humor, me, night, rubbing, shit, told, tree, woman

• I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

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  1 day ago

  actually, before, birthday, check, communication, expectation, happy, honesty, humor, i, interaction, me, memory, social, social interaction, tell, told

• My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

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  1 day ago

  hack, humor, husband, lose, matching, matching pair, me, packing, pair, reader, rolling, sock, sock trick, together, told, travel, travel hack, trick, trip, used

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