Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Home is where the clothes rack stands in the way.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,863

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Making waves on Twitch:

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Breaking via Slack:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

Going viral on Facebook:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

74 Funny app quotes

Funny app quotes are the digital age’s comedic gems, injecting a dose of laughter into your daily scroll 😂. Whether you’re in need of a quick giggle or a witty one-liner, these app-sourced quips are sure to tickle your funny bone 🤪. Perfect for breaking the ice or lightening the mood, each quote is a little gift of humor wrapped in pixels 🎁. Dive into the playful world of funny app quotes and let the chuckles begin! 😄📱

New funny app quotes 👇

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

0

1 day ago

app, experience, frustration, invent, invention, media, refresh, should, social, social media, technology, timeline, Twitter, user, user experience, where
Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

0

1 week ago

alive, app, digital, digital pet, going, humor, irony, keep, mobile, mobile app, needs, offline, pet, someone, Tamagotchi, technology, virtual, virtual pet
Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

0

2 weeks ago

actually, app, Duolingo, education, everything, except, humor, language, language app, language learning, learning, teach
Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

0

2 weeks ago

app, birthday, birthday reminder, Facebook, humor, media, over-engineering, reminder, social, social media, technology
My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

0

3 weeks ago

AI, angel, app, apps, bad, bad luck, betting, distraction, generative, generative AI, guardian, guardian angel, happen, humor, letting, luck, me, sports, sports betting, technology, things, why
I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

0

3 weeks ago

app, content, control, deactivate, every, i, law, let, media, short-form, short-form video, should, social, social media, think, user, user control, video, video content
Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

0

4 weeks ago

actually, app, behavior, happen, humor, media, monetization, money, online, online behavior, rage bait, ragebaiting, social, social media, thing, Twitter, worst
Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

0

1 month ago

app, cause, different, media, multitasking, music, only, playing, social, social media, Twitter, while
SHEIN does entirely too much on their app. Feels like a freaking casino every time you open it.

0

1 month ago

app, casino, design, every, experience, feels, game, game design, much, online, online shopping, open, Shein, shopping, shopping app, time, too, user, user experience
I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

0

1 month ago

app, app usage, borrowed, borrowing, cash, cash app, debt, finance, humor, i, just, money, uninstall, usage

For even more funny app quotes, hit next 👇

All funny app quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

39 shares on Facebook this month:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I sign all anniversary cards with ‘Way to commit to the bit!’

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,845

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Live now on Discord:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Just landed via Telegram:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Spotted on Discord:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Trending via Snapchat:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Spotted on TikTok:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

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