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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,062

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Going viral on TikTok:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Breaking via YouTube:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Making waves on Messenger:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Spotted on Pinterest:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Shared recently on Slack:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

76 Funny asked quotes

More funny asked quotes 👇

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, asked, awkward, awkward moment, awkward silence, conversation, conversation fail, elevator, elevator ride, fail, failures, guy, hell, hotel, hotel elevator, humor, i, just, me, moment, ride, said, silence, small, small talk, social, social anxiety, talk, today, too, us, well
“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

0

2 months ago

AI, asked, chat, Chat GPT, conversation, gpt, humor, lost, mind, question
My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

0

2 months ago

asked, birthday, birthday party, brother, favorite, hand, i, invitation, me, mom, party, realization, surprise, surprise party, twin
I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

0

2 months ago

asked, autograph, celebrity, hanks, humor, i, misunderstanding, signature, thanks, tom, Tom Hanks
An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

0

2 months ago

asked, better, bohemian, Bohemian Rhapsody, humor, i, interview, interviewer, job, job interview, management, me, much, music, performance, pressure, rhapsody, said, singing, stress, stress management, under, well
My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making, and now, I can’t read anything.

0

2 months ago

anything, asked, humor, i, ketchup, list, making, me, misunderstanding, put, read, reading, shopping, shopping list, wife
“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

0

2 months ago

asked, ChatGPT, conversation, family, grok, humor, humor quote, i, joke, mom, rejection, said, technology, well
“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

0

2 months ago

AI, asked, believe, big, ChatGPT, confidence, credibility, deception, grok, humor, i, intelligence, just, language, me, people, read, shit, storytelling, well, wit, words
Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

0

2 months ago

asked, cultural, dating, digits, German, girl, humor, i, joke, language, number, pun, rest, still, waiting
“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

0

2 months ago

AI, asked, ChatGPT, grok, humor, i, joke, loser, R2D2, robot, said, sarcasm, sci-fi, technology, well

For even more funny asked quotes, hit next 👇

All funny asked quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

59 shares on X this month:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

74 shares on Facebook this month:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

83 shares on Threads this month:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Live now on WeChat:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Going viral on Instagram:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Making waves on TikTok:

If I could go back in time, I’d probably stop Bruce Willis from saving us from that asteroid.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Just shared via Facebook:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Spotted on Twitch:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Activity Log ✨

76 Funny asked quotes

More funny asked quotes 👇

All funny asked quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨