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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m a freak in the spreadsheets.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

773 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,935

Funny Quotes Topics

13,908

Funny Quotes Images

10,935

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Just shared via Reddit:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Just shared via Discord:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Just shared via Reddit:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Trending via YouTube:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

Home » Funny Asked Quotes » Page 2

53 Funny asked quotes

More funny asked quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: “I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Commentary:
Talking to flowers? At least they won’t talk behind your petals! 🌻🗣️🌼
1 week ago
Share →: “I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Commentary:
"When in doubt, mom's always right! 😂🤷‍♀️ #MomKnowsBest"
2 weeks ago
Share →: “I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Commentary:
"Whoa, playing it safe by covering all bases! 🤖🙏 #DivineConsultancy"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Commentary:
"Teen logic: Mastering the art of reverse psychology since day one! 🤔🙃 #RebelWithoutACause"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Commentary:
"Oh, you meant 🍂 fall, not 'brace-for-impact' fall! 🌍😅 #Relief #SeasonsChange"
3 weeks ago
Share →: “I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Commentary:
🐑😂 "When in doubt, always consult the oracle… or the sheep! #AIWisdom"
1 month ago
Share →: “I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Commentary:
"Next, I'm planning a heart-to-heart with my toaster—heard it gives bread-st advice! 🥯🤖😂"
3 months ago
Share →: I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

Commentary:
"Looks like the LGBTQ acronym always keeps people guessing! 🤔 But hey, who needs a 'straight' answer when you can have a fabulous one instead? 🌈😄"
4 months ago
Share →: April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Commentary:
"Looks like your Fool application is still stuck in the 'under review' stage 😉🃏 Don't worry, maybe someone will finally hit that 'accept' button 🔜🤪 #AprilFools"
4 months ago
Share →: My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Commentary:
"Looks like his wife sees the glass half empty… or in this case, the bottle half empty! 🍷😂 Maybe he should try a 'glass half full' approach next time!"

For even more funny asked quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny asked quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Hyphenated. Non-hyphenated. The irony.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Spotted on Threads:

Sometimes I apologize to my car when I hit a pothole.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Making waves on Messenger:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Going viral on Discord:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Breaking via Discord:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Live now on Slack:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

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Activity Log ✨

53 Funny asked quotes

More funny asked quotes 👇

For even more funny asked quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny asked quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

All the fruit flies are well-behaved near the garbage, only one is constantly nagging somewhere else because it thinks it has to discover new lands.

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

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