Funny quotes bag

29 Funny bag quotes

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Funny Quotes Feb 8, 2025

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025