31 Funny bag quotes

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  3 weeks ago

  View →: Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.
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  3 months ago

  View →: If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.
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  4 months ago

  View →: When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.
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  4 months ago

  View →: So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?
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  4 months ago

  View →: My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.
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  4 months ago

  View →: As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Snaccident: eating a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”
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  4 months ago

  View →: My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.
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  4 months ago

  View →: It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.
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  4 months ago

  View →: They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.
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  4 months ago

  View →: What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?
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  5 months ago

  View →: I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.
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  5 months ago

  View →: An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!
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  5 months ago

  View →: I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”
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  5 months ago

  View →: I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.
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  5 months ago

  View →: I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.
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  5 months ago

  View →: At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

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