Funny quotes drunk

38 Funny drunk quotes

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

4 days ago

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

2 weeks ago

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

3 weeks ago

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

1 month ago

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

1 month ago

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

1 month ago

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

1 month ago

My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.

1 month ago

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

1 month ago

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

2 months ago

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

2 months ago

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

2 months ago

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

3 months ago

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

3 months ago

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

3 months ago

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

3 months ago

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

3 months ago

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

3 months ago

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

3 months ago

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

3 months ago