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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,978

Funny Quotes Topics

14,785

Funny Quotes Images

11,978

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Reported on Pinterest:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Making waves on Facebook:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Shared recently on Discord:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

Just shared via TikTok:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Live now on Snapchat:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Freshly posted on Slack:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Home » Funny Drunk Quotes

44 Funny drunk quotes

Funny drunk quotes 🍻 have a way of capturing those hilarious, wine-fueled moments we can’t help but laugh about the next day 😂. Whether it’s slurred wisdom or epic fails, these quotes bring out the comedic side of our tipsy adventures 🥴. Perfect for sharing with friends or reliving those memorable nights, they’re sure to keep the laughter flowing as freely as the drinks 🥂. Cheers to the funnier side of life! 🎉

New funny drunk quotes 👇

For even more funny drunk quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny drunk quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,978

Funny Quotes Topics

14,785

Funny Quotes Images

11,978

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

No, I am not refreshed from my long weekend. I was reminded that I am not meant to work, but I am trapped in The Machine.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Reported on Discord:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Shared recently on Discord:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Making waves on YouTube:

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Just landed via X:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

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