41 Funny drunk quotes

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Wine: the only fitness plan where every glass makes your inner model emerge 🍷💃✨"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew 'brunch' was short for 'beware of surprise texts'? 🥂📱🤣"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

  Commentary:
  "When you're so prepared, even your texts have a flight plan! ✈️📲😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a corner office when you can have a cozy nook with your favorite drink in hand? 🏡🍸 Working from home: where professionalism meets pajamas and productivity meets Pinot Noir. 😂 #WFHWinning"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic tale of transitioning from party animal to clean freak! 🎶🧹 Looks like it's bye-bye hangovers, hello sparkling countertops! Who knew adulthood could be this rhythmic? 💃🕺 #CleaningJam #AdultingWin

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

  Commentary:
  When your laptop starts sounding like your boss is speaking in tongues, you know it's time for another round 🍺💻 #WorkFromHomeStruggles

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

  Commentary:
  "Grocery shopping while hungry is like a game of 'Will I regret this later?' 😂 It's the online shopping equivalent of hitting 'Add to Cart' without checking the price tag after a few too many cocktails! 🛒🍔🍟"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the age-old wisdom of keeping your lips sealed… until the liquid courage kicks in! 🍷🙊 Why do we always give in to the temptation to spill the tea when our inhibitions are floating away with each sip? It's like our mouths have a secret pact with alcohol to air out all the forbidden thoughts! 🤭💬 Next time you feel the urge to share a little too much, just blame it on the spirits – both the liquid kind and the

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

  Commentary:
  Oops, so you drunk-texted your ex, huh? 🍷📱 Don't panic! Just channel your inner hacker and flood their inbox with Bitcoin ads like a pro! 💻💰 Who said alcohol and technology don't mix well? 🤣 #HackYourWayOutOfAWildNight

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

  Commentary:
  "When your inner drunk advisor gives you advice, you know it's time to pour another drink 🥃🤔 #CheersToQuestionableWisdom"

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