Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,954

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,954

4 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Microsoft Teams needs to add a “spank” reaction for when I want to reprimand my employees during a video call.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Just landed via Telegram:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Just shared via Reddit:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Trending via Threads:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Seen just now on Slack:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Making waves on Instagram:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Home » Funny Escape Quotes

47 Funny escape quotes

Funny escape quotes bring a burst of laughter and a dash of wit to the everyday hustle and bustle 🎭. Whether you’re plotting your next great adventure or just daydreaming about ditching responsibilities for a while 🚀, these quirky snippets offer the perfect blend of humor and inspiration 😂. Dive into a world where chuckles meet escapism, and discover how a clever line can turn fantasy into reality with just a smile 🌟.

New funny escape quotes 👇

1 day ago
Share →: Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Commentary:
When you realize your job has more plot twists than an actual escape room 😂🔍💼
2 days ago
Share →: Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Commentary:
Running away from responsibilities: the only cardio routine that requires zero commitment! 🏃‍♂️💨🙃
3 days ago
Share →: A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Commentary:
Escaping online used to be my hobby, now escaping offline is my survival skill! 😆🔌🌍
1 week ago
Share →: Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Commentary:
When flies act like they're auditioning for a soap opera, buzzing in with drama and leaving with a flair for the overdramatic 😂🪰🚪
2 weeks ago
Share →: The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Commentary:
Trading traffic lights for fairy lights sounds like a magical upgrade! 🐿️🧚‍♂️🍓
2 weeks ago
Share →: Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Commentary:
Trying my best to win the hide-and-seek championship while pushing a shopping cart! 🏃‍♂️🛒😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Commentary:
"New conversation hack: Sock it to 'em! 🧦😂 They'll be speechless (and possibly sockless)!"
2 weeks ago
Share →: To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Commentary:
"So if you need me, you know where to find me… Just kidding, I'll be the one brooding under a desk fort until 5 PM! ⛺️🏔️🤣"
3 weeks ago
Share →: I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Commentary:
"Me leaving the zoo like: 🐧🚗 'He followed me home, I swear!' 😂"
4 weeks ago
Share →: The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Commentary:
"Finally found my true calling: forest life coach for squirrels! 🌲🐿️🗣️"

For even more funny escape quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny escape quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,954

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,954

4 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Breaking via TikTok:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Spotted on YouTube:

The best part of my kid graduating was unsubscribing from the school’s text messages.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴