Funny quotes front

28 Funny front quotes

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Funny Quotes Feb 3, 2025

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025