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178 Funny job quotes

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  • What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

    Commentary:
    How about becoming a professional tissue tester? 🤣🧻 Guaranteed job security and plenty of opportunities to test those tear ducts! Who needs tissues for the sad movies when you can have them for work? 😂 #NoCriticismAllowed

  • Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

    Commentary:
    “Imagine the chaos if all the adults suddenly ditched their responsibilities for a spring break 🌸🍹 Who needs paperwork when you can have beach vibes and sunshine, right? 😂 #adultingishard”

  • Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

    Commentary:
    “Seems like swiping left in both dating and job hunting might be a good strategy 💼💔 Better stick to what you know for now! 🤣 #BaeOrPaycheck”

  • My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

    Commentary:
    🤣 Ah, the classic “intervention” moment by the sweatpants! Looks like it’s time to retire from the cozy lounge life and dive back into the world of office attire. Good luck explaining the office dress code to your comfy companions! 🩴👔 #SweatpantsVsOfficeJob

  • When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

    Commentary:
    Oh, you can’t wait to be replaced by a robot, huh? 🤖 Don’t worry, your job is safe… for now! 😉 Maybe you’ll have a robot co-worker before you know it! Who knows, with a little luck, you might even get to be their boss! 🤖👩‍💼

  • I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

    Commentary:
    Well, isn’t that a “bank-breaking” turn of events! 😂 Looks like someone’s interest rates hit an all-time low! 🏦💸💔 Remember, it’s important to stay invested in what keeps you passionate! 📈🔥

  • If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

    Commentary:
    🎩✨ “Well, if pulling quarters out of ears isn’t a job qualification, then maybe it’s time to find a workplace with a better sense of magic and wonder! Who wouldn’t want an office where pulling coins out of ears is considered a valuable skill? 🪄💼 #MagicIsTheSkillWeNeed”

  • Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

    Commentary:
    “Embrace your quirks and flaws – your parents are already on duty for being embarrassed by you anyway! 🤷‍♂️🤣”

  • It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

    Commentary:
    “Oh, the cruel reality of unrequited love in the workplace! 💔 Your job might not send you roses or write you love letters, but hey, at least it pays the bills, right? 🌹💼 #LoveHateRelationship”

  • I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs career goals when you can have those sweet, sweet paychecks rollin’ in! 💸😂 #WorkSmartNotHard”

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