23 Funny longer quotes

• 

  3 days ago

  Share →: No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

  Commentary:
  Plot twist: I got promoted from passive spectator to chief schemer 😂🔍✨

• 

  5 days ago

  Share →: How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

  Commentary:
  Taking applications for a professional "un-meet" service! 😂🙈 #LifeInWitnessProtectionMode

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

  Commentary:
  "Because it's auditioning for a drama series starring 'The Relentless Ringer!' 🎭📞😂"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like even aliens are feeling the pinch! 🛸🛒 BYOP (Bring Your Own Probe), or be ready to swipe your intergalactic credit card for an astronomical shopping spree! 👽💸😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the classic 'Mother’s Day breakfast surprise'—where the surprise is that she still has to make it! 😅🍳🌷"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the woes of adulthood! 😅💸 Who needs love when you can have a bank account that doesn't break your heart? 💔💰 #PrioritiesStraight #MoneyOverEverything

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

  Commentary:
  "Taking a nap and waiting for dreams to chase me like 🛌💭💨 Who knew dream pursuit could be so relaxing! #DreamsFindingMe #NapTimeGoals"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like the hefty price tag on funerals is the ultimate anti-aging remedy! 💸⏳ Who knew the fear of funeral bills could add years to your life? 😂 #LifeHacks"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

  Commentary:
  "Seriously, who do we talk to about extending weekends? It's like we blink and it's already Monday again! 🙈 Can we get a petition going for #MoreWeekendPlease? 📝⏳"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

  Commentary:
  📰 Breaking news alert! 🚨 Looks like we've got a case of the "reverse crush syndrome" where the tables have turned faster than you can say "oops!" 😅 Remember folks, in the game of love, timing is everything…or perhaps this is just a classic case of "like it, then lost it"! 😄💔

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