24 Funny matter quotes

• 

  6 days ago

  Share →: My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

  Commentary:
  Apparently, this freelance pet food critic is finickier than Gordon Ramsay with a fish dish 😹🐟🛍️

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

  Commentary:
  When your email thinks it's playing hide and seek: challenge accepted! ✉️🔍😎

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

  Commentary:
  Embrace your inner legend with confidence! Reality is overrated! 😎✨📚

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

  Commentary:
  Guess I'm still waiting for that brain matter delivery, but it's stuck in eternal shipping delay! 🧠🚚⏳

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

  Commentary:
  "When you're so committed to being cozy, you put the weather on mute! 😂🛋️🌞 #BlanketLife"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

  Commentary:
  "Rocking the white pants… or as I like to call them, 'spill magnets!' 🍷🩳😅 #LivingDangerously"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

  Commentary:
  "Life's biggest mystery solved: the chicken or the egg? 🐔🥚 Turns out, it's just bizarre either way when they magically pop out of nowhere! 🤷‍♂️🤣"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'nap position' – a state of perpetual relaxation 🛌 Sounds like your body just refuses to commit to any form of fitness! It's all about that elastic band life, stretching out and bouncing back 🔄💪 Maybe your body's secretly training for the Olympics in napping… Gold medal dreams in snoozing, coming right up! 🥇😂"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

  Commentary:
  "Got a wacky problem? Reddit has you covered! 🙌 Whether it's tips on taming a yeti in the backyard or surviving a dance-off with your cat, the Reddit community always delivers! 😂🦄 #RedditToTheRescue"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

  Commentary:
  "Remember, it's all fun and games until your house becomes a sitcom starring unwelcome guests 🏠🚫😂 #HouseRules #NoRoommatesAllowed"

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