Funny quotes » matter

19 Funny matter quotes

New funny matter quotes 👇

  • Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

    Commentary:
    “Rocking the white pants… or as I like to call them, ‘spill magnets!’ 🍷🩳😅 #LivingDangerously”

  • Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

    Commentary:
    “Life’s biggest mystery solved: the chicken or the egg? 🐔🥚 Turns out, it’s just bizarre either way when they magically pop out of nowhere! 🤷‍♂️🤣”

  • My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the classic ‘nap position’ – a state of perpetual relaxation 🛌 Sounds like your body just refuses to commit to any form of fitness! It’s all about that elastic band life, stretching out and bouncing back 🔄💪 Maybe your body’s secretly training for the Olympics in napping… Gold medal dreams in snoozing, coming right up! 🥇😂”

  • It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

    Commentary:
    “Got a wacky problem? Reddit has you covered! 🙌 Whether it’s tips on taming a yeti in the backyard or surviving a dance-off with your cat, the Reddit community always delivers! 😂🦄 #RedditToTheRescue”

  • No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

    Commentary:
    “Remember, it’s all fun and games until your house becomes a sitcom starring unwelcome guests 🏠🚫😂 #HouseRules #NoRoommatesAllowed”

  • Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

    Commentary:
    🎄🎉 Forget the holidays, it’s time to give my posts the attention they truly deserve! Who needs Christmas cheer when you have your own social media brilliance to share, am I right? Priorities, people! 😂 #PostOverPresents #SelfieSeason

  • It’s just a matter of time until they add “syndrome” after my name.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like our friend here is actively collecting enough quirks to build their own syndrome! 🤪 Watch out, world – the ‘Accidental Delight Syndrome’ is coming soon! 😂👀”

  • Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

    Commentary:
    Well, well, well! Someone’s got jokes! 🤣 Who knew courtroom drama could be so entertaining? Your Honor better watch out – we’ve got a comedian in the house! 🎭

  • No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

    Commentary:
    “Rise and shine, they say! But fate be like: ‘I’m awake before your alarm clock, honey!’ ⏰😆 #FateAlwaysWins”

  • I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

    Commentary:
    “Love knows no boundaries… or bathroom doors apparently! 🚪🚿❤️But hey, at least it’s the thought that counts, right? 😅 #LoveIsUnexpected”

For even more funny matter quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny matter quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Advertisement

Trending Topics

activity communication day family food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me need parenting people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology think time want work