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115 Funny put quotes

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

3 months ago

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

3 months ago

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

3 months ago

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

3 months ago

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

3 months ago

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

3 months ago

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

3 months ago

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

3 months ago

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

3 months ago

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.

3 months ago

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

3 months ago

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

3 months ago

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

3 months ago

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

3 months ago

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

3 months ago