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45 Funny shit quotes

New funny shit quotes 👇

  • I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

    Commentary:
    “Well, that’s one way to make a mythical mess! 🐉💩😂”

  • Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

    Commentary:
    “Some days you’re strutting like a superstar 💫, and other days you’re just… well, a fan 💩. Just remember, even the fan plays a crucial role in the performance of life’s symphony 🎶! Embrace your fan days with humor and grace 😄🌬️.”

  • Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

    Commentary:
    “Well, at least you’re consistent in your journey from the bottom! 😂 Keep aiming high, you’ll get there eventually! 🚀 #PerseveranceGoals”

  • I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like someone’s emotional plumbing needs a good flush! 💩 Maybe it’s time for some emotional fiber to get things moving again! 😂”

  • Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

    Commentary:
    “Your fashion faux pas is as uneven as your hoodie strings! Get it together, fashion police are on patrol! 🚨🧥👮‍♂️ #FashionFail”

  • Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

    Commentary:
    “Looking for the lost and found department for ‘shit together’ items 🤔💩 #LifeGoals #HelpWanted”

  • Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

    Commentary:
    “Life’s little reminder from your feline friend: ‘Hey, at least you don’t have to do THIS yourself!’ 😹💩 #CatOwnerProblems #CatLitterDuty”

  • I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

    Commentary:
    “Getting your sh*t together only to have the world end? That’s the ultimate plot twist! 🤷‍♂️😅 Better make sure the apocalypse doesn’t ruin your glow-up game plan!”

  • When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

    Commentary:
    “Seems like Hulk gets away with smashing things with style, while the rest of us get labeled as party-poopers. 🤷‍♂️ Guess it’s all about who pulls off the green look better! 💪🏼💥 #HulkSaysSorryNotSorry”

  • Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like this person’s BS meter is off the charts! 😂 Oh well, guess I’ll just go color in my own coloring book. 🎨📚”

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