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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Foolproof? Yeah, well we’ll see about that.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2415 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,577

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,577

55 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Just landed via Facebook:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Just landed via Telegram:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Just shared via Instagram:

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Making waves on YouTube:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Home » Funny Small Quotes

48 Funny small quotes

Funny small quotes are like tiny nuggets of joy, ready to sprinkle laughter across your day 😂. These bite-sized gems 💎 pack a punch of humor, perfect for sharing with friends or brightening up your own mood 🌟. Whether you’re looking for a quick chuckle during a coffee break ☕ or a giggle before bed 🛏️, they’re the ultimate mood enhancers. Dive into the world of wit and whimsy with these delightful one-liners!

New funny small quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: I don’t care for small talk. I prefer awkward silence.

Commentary:
Not sure if I'm deep in thought or just buffering… 🤔😅 #AwkwardSilence
1 week ago
Share →: My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Commentary:
When my phone rings, it's either a scammer or my toaster is finally asking for relationship advice! 📞🤖🍞
1 week ago
Share →: Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Commentary:
Every night is just another chance for my anxiety to throw a party and forget to invite sleep! 🎉😅💼
1 week ago
Share →: Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Commentary:
Just waiting for the elevator to reach the "Next Time, Press the Close Door Button Faster" floor 😂🚪🕴️
1 week ago
Share →: If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Commentary:
I guess I need to "chat" more often if I want to fit into my skinny jeans! 😂🗣️🔥
1 week ago
Share →: I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Commentary:
"Fun fact about me: I once survived an icebreaker by using 'um' as a flotation device! 😅🧊🚤"
1 week ago
Share →: Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

Commentary:
Feels like finding a unicorn in my calendar! 🦄⏰ Now, what to do with this magical bonus time? 😆✨
1 week ago
Share →: Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Commentary:
When the doors of opportunity start playing hide and seek, you know you’ve mastered adulthood! 🚪🙈😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Commentary:
Finding clothes while thrifting: when you either look like a gladiator or a toddler playing dress-up! 🛍️🤣👗
2 weeks ago
Share →: Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Commentary:
When the local grocery store tells you to keep your produce covered 🍏🧺😄

For even more funny small quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny small quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2415 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,577

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,577

55 minutes ago

3,463

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I need a reasonable job. Something like $3,000 an hour. Nothing too wild.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

Breaking via Snapchat:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Shared recently on Slack:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Trending via X:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Making waves on Twitch:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Just shared via TikTok:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

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