Funny quotes speak

18 Funny speak quotes

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Funny Quotes Mar 31, 2025

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Funny Quotes Mar 21, 2025

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Funny Quotes Mar 9, 2025

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Funny Quotes Mar 8, 2025

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Funny Quotes Feb 12, 2025

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Funny Quotes Jan 27, 2025

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Funny Quotes Jan 24, 2025

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025