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Funny third quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to those “third time’s a charm” moments! 😂 Whether it’s about third wheels, third tries, or third cups of coffee ☕️, these witty gems keep the smiles coming. Ready to laugh at life’s quirky thirds? Let’s dive into the funniest takes that turn ordinary moments into comedy gold! 🎉🤣

New funny third quotes 👇

15 hours ago
Share →: My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Commentary:
Sounds like you've unlocked the DLC character of parenting 🤔🕵️‍♂️✨
1 week ago
Share →: Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Commentary:
Sounds like my cat's prepping for a career in "nap-tastic" film productions! 🎬😹💤
1 week ago
Share →: Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Commentary:
Sounds like a well-balanced diet: one chip in each hand! 🥔😂
1 week ago
Share →: A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Commentary:
When life gets ruff, bring in the squawkologist! 🐦🦜😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: “You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Commentary:
"When getting off the couch feels like an Olympic sport, but your medal is just chips! 🥇🍟 #Couchlete"
3 months ago
Share →: Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic third-wheel dilemma! 🚴‍♂️ Being the uninvited guest at the best friend’s brunch is like trying to enjoy popcorn in a firework show—sure, you're there, but you're definitely not the star. 🍿🔥 Sometimes, third wheeling feels more like being the awkward punctuation in a love story—necessary, but often misunderstood. 😅 Still, hey, at least you're getting a front-row seat to comedy at its finest! 🎬😂
6 months ago
Share →: Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Commentary:
🌟 Ah, the eternal struggle of wanting the benefits of Ozempic but not quite ready to commit to the whole strict diet and exercise routine. 🍔🏋️‍♂️ Maybe there's a mysterious third option involving magical chocolate that burns calories while you eat it? 🍫✨ Or perhaps a gym where the weights lift themselves? 💪😅 Oh, the search for that elusive shortcut continues! 🕵️‍♂️
6 months ago
Share →: The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Commentary:
"Forgiveness can be like a rollercoaster ride 🎢 – the first time with love is all warm and fuzzy, the second with hope is like riding a small bump, but the third time with stupidity… well, you might as well be riding the loop-de-loop! 🤪 Let's hope we all learn our lesson before getting dizzy! 🌀"
6 months ago
Share →: No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Commentary:
"Playing referee in a couple's fight is like trying to breakdance in a minefield – you're bound to step on some explosive emotions 💥🕺 Better to grab some popcorn and enjoy the show from a safe distance! 🍿😅"
6 months ago
Share →: Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's experiencing the 'lettuce rage' syndrome! 🥗😂 Don't worry, you can always sneak in a burger for dessert! 🍔😉"