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New funny quotes: 56 this month

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Updated: Mar 13, 2026

 

 

 

 

17 Funny third quotes

Funny third quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to those “third time’s a charm” moments! 😂 Whether it’s about third wheels, third tries, or third cups of coffee ☕️, these witty gems keep the smiles coming. Ready to laugh at life’s quirky thirds? Let’s dive into the funniest takes that turn ordinary moments into comedy gold! 🎉🤣

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

Posted onFeb 3, 2026

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Posted onFeb 2, 2026

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Posted onFeb 1, 2026

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Posted onJan 31, 2026

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Posted onJan 28, 2026

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

Posted onJan 23, 2026

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Posted onJan 21, 2026

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Posted onJan 21, 2026

Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.

Posted onJan 19, 2026

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Posted onJan 19, 2026

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