21 Funny top quotes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone's upgrading from the bottom of their heart to the top! 🎩💖 Watch out world, we've got a gratitude trendsetter on our hands! 😉🌟 #LevelingUp #HeartfeltThanks"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like your tween mastered the eye roll arts with flying colors! 🎓👀😂 Guess it's time to upgrade to Eye Roll University – Master's level program! 🙄🎉 #ProudParent"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

  Commentary:
  "A micromanager is like a gardener who trims away all the flowers and wonders why the garden looks bare 🌸🌿 Don't be surprised if your top talent decides to take a stroll to a more welcoming garden! 🚶‍♂️💼"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic political strategy: convince everyone that you're the only honest one in a sea of deception! 🕵️‍♂️🤥 Who knew the key to trust was a well-crafted conspiracy theory? 😂 Just remember, it's all fun and games until people start questioning if even you are lying about lying! 🤔🤫 #TrustNoOne"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, absolutely! The sheer level of squirreliness is simply off the acorn charts! 🐿️ Just when you think they've reached peak squirreliness, they go and surprise you with even more antics. It's like they have a dedicated Squirrel Olympics for being, well, squirrely! 🥜🏅"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like Facebook might be saving humanity from some interesting recreational activities… 😂🙈 Who needs naked human Jenga when you have social media, am I right? 🤣 #FacebookSavesLives"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

  Commentary:
  "Spending all day cleaning the house is like sending a message to your roommates: 'This is a museum now, so please only touch the furniture with your mind.' 🧹✨ #CleanlinessIsNextToSolitude"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

  Commentary:
  "Scaling Mount Everest seems like a breeze compared to conquering the family's never-ending laundry mountain! ⛰️🧺 Just when you think you've reached the peak, another load magically appears. 🧗‍♂️💦 #LaundryConqueror"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

  Commentary:
  "Having a two-year-old is like trying to contain a caffeinated tornado with endless energy and zero chill 😅🌪️ No lid, no limits, just pure chaos and mess!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

  Commentary:
  "Back in my day, we didn't have fancy hashtags and social media trends 🧐 We just saw a pound sign and thought, 'Hey, that's a great spot for a game of tic-tac-toe!' 😂 #OldSchoolCool"

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