Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Commentary:
Oh, the struggle of centaur infants – born with a split personality! 🐴👶 Just imagine the chaos as the bipedal bottom half goes trotting off while the upper half is just trying to figure out this whole "neck control" thing. It's a literal case of "getting your legs under you!" 🤣 #CentaursGotCentaurProblems
5 months ago
Share →: I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'pile-based approach' to fashion – truly avant-garde! 🤔👚🤷‍♂️ Who needs closets when you have a curated 'floor-robe'! 💁‍♀️👖 #FashionistaGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Commentary:
🤣🏙️ "In a world where chaos reigns and logic takes a backseat, welcome to 'The Dewey Decimated Decimal System'! Who needs mayors and governors when you have a librarian armed with overdue fines and shushing powers ready to bring order to the city? Tune in as our unlikely hero battles late fees and unruly citizens in this unforgettable sitcom where the only crime is not returning your books on time!" 📚🕶️
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

Commentary:
Well, it's all about the half-naked life, isn't it? 🦆 Who knew that the biggest obstacle to becoming a cartoon duck would be pants? 🩳 Just imagine Donald Duck strutting around commando style – now that would be a quacktastic sight! 😂 This quote really quacks me up!
6 months ago
Share →: I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's upgrading from the bottom of their heart to the top! 🎩💖 Watch out world, we've got a gratitude trendsetter on our hands! 😉🌟 #LevelingUp #HeartfeltThanks"
6 months ago
Share →: Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Commentary:
"Looks like your tween mastered the eye roll arts with flying colors! 🎓👀😂 Guess it's time to upgrade to Eye Roll University – Master's level program! 🙄🎉 #ProudParent"
6 months ago
Share →: A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Commentary:
"A micromanager is like a gardener who trims away all the flowers and wonders why the garden looks bare 🌸🌿 Don't be surprised if your top talent decides to take a stroll to a more welcoming garden! 🚶‍♂️💼"
6 months ago
Share →: Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic political strategy: convince everyone that you're the only honest one in a sea of deception! 🕵️‍♂️🤥 Who knew the key to trust was a well-crafted conspiracy theory? 😂 Just remember, it's all fun and games until people start questioning if even you are lying about lying! 🤔🤫 #TrustNoOne"
6 months ago
Share →: One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Commentary:
"Oh, absolutely! The sheer level of squirreliness is simply off the acorn charts! 🐿️ Just when you think they've reached peak squirreliness, they go and surprise you with even more antics. It's like they have a dedicated Squirrel Olympics for being, well, squirrely! 🥜🏅"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Commentary:
"Looks like Facebook might be saving humanity from some interesting recreational activities… 😂🙈 Who needs naked human Jenga when you have social media, am I right? 🤣 #FacebookSavesLives"