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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Grocery carts should have barcode scanners on them so you can see how much you’re spending as you put things in your cart.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,696

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Freshly posted on X:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Going viral on Slack:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Spotted on Discord:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Seen just now on TikTok:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Just shared via Telegram:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

64 Funny sports quotes

Funny sports quotes bring a playful twist to the competitive world of athletics! 🏅😂 From witty jabs at sports mishaps to humorous reflections on the trials and triumphs of athletes, these quotes capture the lighter side of sporting endeavors. Whether you’re a die-hard fan or just enjoy a good laugh at the game, these funny sports quotes will score a chuckle and add a fun spin to your sports conversations. Enjoy the humor and get ready to laugh out loud! 😄🏆

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Instagram this month:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

I just wanna buy $16 worth of a meme coin and sell it for $2.6M two weeks later.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

81 shares on X this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

54 shares on Discord this month:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,627

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

One thing I expect that we will learn from the vibe coding era is that most ‘idea guys’ don’t actually have very good ideas.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Just landed via Discord:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Trending via Pinterest:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Just landed via Threads:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

Seen just now on Facebook:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

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