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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,924

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Spotted on WeChat:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Going viral on Discord:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Live now on Telegram:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Breaking via TikTok:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Just landed via Facebook:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m the person who requested weather reporters stand in the storms. I have no concept of wind or rain and love seeing needless suffering.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Home » Funny Start Quotes » Page 19

195 Funny start quotes

More funny start quotes 👇

August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

0

4 months ago

almost, August, Christmas, Christmas shopping, costume, Halloween, Halloween costume, happy, holiday, holiday planning, humor, management, new, new year, next, over, pick, planning, seasonal, seasonal humor, September, shopping, start, time, time management, week, year
When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

0

4 months ago

documentary, door, doors, going, humor, lock, locked, locked door, mystery, night, oh, old, old person, person, small, small town, start, storytelling, town
“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

0

4 months ago

9, 9 a.m., a.m., am, dislike, humor, Monday, morning, person, relatable, start, start of week, tired, week, work
You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

0

5 months ago

analogy, cartoon, cartoons, chicken, chicken leg, feeling, feels, friend, friends, humor, hunger, hungry, leg, looking, ovulation, start
Starting a new life today, bye.

0

5 months ago

fresh, fresh start, goodbye, humor, life, new, new life, short, short quote, start, starting, today
Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

0

5 months ago

advice, day, humor, management, mode, morning, panic, rush, start, start day, starting, stop, stress, time, time management
You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

0

5 months ago

ever, funny observation, game, gaming, guys, hallucination, hours, humor, long play, observation, play, sound, sounds, start, straight, video, video game
So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

0

5 months ago

clothes, daily, daily life, fresh, fresh start, heartbreak, humor, laundry, life, literally, never, realize, right, start, wash, washing, wear
The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.

0

5 months ago

act, always, animal, animal behavior, behavior, best, celebration, context, dog, dogs, excitement, good, happiness, idea, joy, just, matter, party, pet, ready, something, start, thing, too
Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

0

5 months ago

age, aging, eating, food, foods, getting, getting older, humor, just, means, older, sad, sad food, start

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

92 shares on Threads this month:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

63 shares on Messenger this month:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

You wish you had this many chins.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Trending via Facebook:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Spotted on Twitch:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

Seen just now on X:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Trending via Snapchat:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Shared recently on Slack:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Activity Log ✨

195 Funny start quotes

More funny start quotes 👇

All funny start quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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