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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1878 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,040

Funny Quotes Topics

14,825

Funny Quotes Images

12,040

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Just shared via X:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Shared recently on Slack:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Going viral on Threads:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Home » Funny Thinking Quotes » Page 4

112 Funny thinking quotes

More funny thinking quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Commentary:
"Dear Universe, I'd like a lifetime supply of pizza, a unicorn, and maybe just one day where my WiFi doesn’t decide to take a vacation 🤞🍕🦄📡"
2 months ago
Share →: Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Commentary:
"When you finally get a day off, and your couch turns into your office 🤦‍♂️📺 #WorkaholicLife"
2 months ago
Share →: I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes… the art of sleep-thinking! Who needs REM when you can have REMiniscing? 🛌🤔💭😴"
2 months ago
Share →: So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

…

Commentary:
"Totally unfazed… except for when I'm side-eyeing you every 5 minutes. 🚶‍♂️👀💭😂"
2 months ago
Share →: The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Commentary:
"Proof that time travel exists: watch any old man try to relive his glory days! 🚀🕺🤣"
2 months ago
Share →: Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Commentary:
"Brainstorming session went a little longer than expected! 🚿🧠🤔🌧️ #DeepThoughts"
2 months ago
Share →: Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Commentary:
"Braving the bedside minefield to brush feels more epic than Frodo's journey to Mordor! 🛏️👉🛁⚔️😂"
2 months ago
Share →: Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Commentary:
"After reading up on confirmation bias, I've realized I'm absolutely biased about how biased I am! 🤔😂 #MindBlown #TotallyConfirmed"
2 months ago
Share →: Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Commentary:
"Career change: from office worker to full-time 'yes, dear' consultant! 🤔💕😂"
2 months ago
Share →: Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Commentary:
"Honestly, SpongeBob's secret formula isn’t just Krabby Patties, it's pure perseverance! 🍔💪🤣 #AbsorbentAndUnstoppable"

For even more funny thinking quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny thinking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Don’t argue with her. Just say “you remind me of my ex” then walk away.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I don’t know which aunty needs to hear this, but focus on your own child.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Going viral on Messenger:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Reported on Discord:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Trending via YouTube:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Trending via Instagram:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Making waves on YouTube:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Just shared via Messenger:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Spotted on Telegram:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

112 Funny thinking quotes

More funny thinking quotes 👇

For even more funny thinking quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny thinking quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

You can reach me by butterfly.

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

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