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105 Funny thought quotes

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

3 months ago

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

3 months ago

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

3 months ago

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

3 months ago

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

3 months ago

“I thought it might be nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves, including a fun fact.” You thought wrong.

3 months ago

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

3 months ago

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

3 months ago

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

3 months ago

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

3 months ago

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

3 months ago

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

3 months ago

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

3 months ago

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

3 months ago

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

3 months ago

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

3 months ago

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

3 months ago

If I ever experience an earthquake, my first thought will probably be it’s Godzilla.

3 months ago

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

3 months ago

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

3 months ago