Funny quotes treat

24 Funny treat quotes

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Apparently, when you treat someone the same way they treat you, they get offended!

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Funny Quotes Jan 26, 2025

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Funny Quotes Jan 25, 2025

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Funny Quotes Jan 23, 2025

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Funny Quotes Jan 22, 2025

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Funny Quotes Jan 21, 2025

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

Funny Quotes Jan 20, 2025