48 Funny while quotes — Wordgag ツ

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

3 days ago3 days ago

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

4 weeks ago4 weeks ago

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

4 weeks ago4 weeks ago

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

4 weeks ago4 weeks ago

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

1 month ago1 month ago

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

1 month ago1 month ago

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

1 month ago1 month ago

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

2 months ago2 months ago

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

2 months ago2 months ago

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

2 months ago2 months ago

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

2 months ago2 months ago

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

2 months ago2 months ago

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

2 months ago2 months ago

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

2 months ago2 months ago

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

2 months ago2 months ago

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

2 months ago2 months ago